ONE WAY

i quote kuya jao

2009-08-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."

my life is less a smile

2009-08-19T18:05:00.002+08:00

if i were just a character written on a book

and you are the reader,

would you remember me?

surely, no.

[100th post published -_-]

forever by hillsong

2009-07-22T16:48:00.003+08:00

i may not have an ear for music... but i hear love songs through my heart :)

I'll Worship at Your Throne
Whisper my own love song
With all my heart I'll sing
For You my Dad and King
I'll live for all my days
To Put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet
It'll be for eternity

And Oh how wide You open up Your arms
When I need Your love
And how far You would come
If ever I was lost
And You said that all You feel for me
Is undying love
That You showed me through the cross

I'll worship You my God
I'll worship You my God
I love You
I love You
Forever I will sing
Forever I will be with You
Be with You

there are so many words synonymous to hate

2009-06-11T23:10:00.003+08:00

hate.

the fact that i got what i wanted... but as it turns out, the feeling isn't mutual. D:

abhor.

the fact that my mind is a egoistic. :| and she won't take commands from my hollow muscular organ that pumps blood around the body, situated in the center of the chest with its apex directed to the left (Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. ©)

detest.

the fact that i can't stop hurting my self :( because i actually think that doing so will pardon my every offense.

dislike.

the fact that i keep turning my back from what i believe in and let worldly desires conquer my heart :(

despise.

that fact that I'm a pathetic, useless, inconsiderate friend. and no one should make the mistake of naming me as one. :(

loathe.

the fact that i promised at least five people that i will eat well. and still, I'm not doing so (spare me and blame my stomach!) my conscience is already wringing my neck :(

:(

i should stay away from multiply

2009-06-07T22:32:00.003+08:00

really. it's depressing down there. not because i let my thoughts slip to the world. but what's hateful is seeing other people's thoughts when you shouldn't be reading them. D:

bakit kasi yung ibang tao kailangan pa nilang imultiply yung mga pre-judgement nila sa mga di nila gustong tao. tae. kung hindi man blog post, icocomment nila, thinking na bobo si object of gossip para hindi mabasa yung mga pambabackstab nila. D:

and, no, i can't handle people hating me, backstabbing me even. and worse when it's online. :/ sorry if i can't please everyone. God knows i try. :(

naaasar ako pag bumababa self-esteem ko dahil sa mga walang kwentang kwento na di naman totoo. tapos kelangan pa nilang mag-involve ng tao na wala namang pakialam dapat sa usapan para lang masabi yung galit nila. tuloy, kahit hindi ako kilala, kahit di pa ako nakikita, masama na kagad tingin sa 'kin.

naasar ako. hindi sa kanila, kasi wala naman akong right. once upon a time siguro, nagawa ko rin yung ginagawa nila ngayon sa 'kin. naaasar ako sa sarili ko kasi nagpapaapekto ako sa kanila. alam ko naman na malinis ang conscience ko. at mahal ako ng Diyos.

sana di ko na mapansin pa 'to. D:

balik classes na :/

2009-06-02T17:31:00.002+08:00

okay. orientation kanina. gusto ko lang magrant :))

haay. grabe. nung sinuot ko skirt ko, parang humaba. syempre nagtaka ako kasi 'di naman bago uniform ko... so, dun dun dun... lumiit kaya ako? haay. wala lang. kastress. >___< di ko alam kung baket haha. dapat nga masaya kasi nakita ko uli mga teachers and classmates. haay. pero hindi ganun. siguro napagod lang ako sa pag-uwi. pero tae. may bad feeling ako. sa lahat. haay. Loooooord. wala lang. nandyan ka diba? meh, kelangan ko ng uhh security? tama ba yun. haay. basta. ang labo. naguguluhan ako. ang labooo. pero for the first time siguro hindi ako yung malabo. malabo ang buhay :)) taee. ako pa rin ata. basta. kasi namaaan. same. as in pareho. bat ganun :)) parang ang weird kasi. yeah. haha. bastaaaa. gusto ko tuloy mabaon sa school work D: haay Lord. kausapin mo ako D:

Who am I by Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

it's just so easy... to pretend.

2009-05-29T10:52:00.002+08:00

ang dami kong inaalala. D: parang di mawalan ng dapat isipin. lalo na ngayong fourth year na ako. ang dami kong plans... tapos sana hindi hanggang isip ko lang yung mga 'to. ang dami kong gustong gawin ngayong year. ang dami ko pang gustong makilala. tapos di ko maiwasan na hilingin na sana mapunta ako sa section na yung mga classmates ko ay di ko pa nagiging classmates kahit kelan. haha. astig sana nun. pero baka ma-op ako O______O

college. obviously, yun laging napag-uusapan. yun laging tinatanong pag meron kang batchmate na ngayon mo lang nakausap. haha. pero hindi weird para saken. lahat naman dumaan at dadaan sa pagiging senior e. haay, ang inaalala ko lang... i mean, naguguluhan ako. haha in a way excited na ako sa plans sa 'kin ni Lord after high school. pero syempre gusto ko rin isavor yung mga moments ngayong last year sa Pisay. meh. hirap ah.

sana, bago matapos ang school year (di pa nga nagsisimula e), walang friendship na masira. :)

hobby ko ata ang pag-aalala ng mga kung anu-anong bagay sa future. it keeps my mind busy kasi. pero wala rin namang magagawa yun. sabi ni God don't worry. makinig na lang siguro dapat ako sa kanya :D

psst...

2009-05-20T12:18:00.005+08:00

mawawala na lang siguro itong nararamdaman ko
bago ko pa maparating sayo >__<

ang weird pala ng buhay.

2009-05-20T09:35:00.004+08:00

ay joke naman. tagal ko na yung alam. parang ang weiiiird pa rin. haha. tapos may weird na chocolate na pag nagustuhan mo kainin laging mo nang bibilhin. except na lang hindi siya binibili. pinaghihirapan...intindihin =)) di rin kasi ako rich e. ohmygulay ang bobo ko gumawa ng metaphor. owel. basta. haay. gusto ko ng friends :( kasi naman e, parang six years (grade 2 to first year ata) akong walang tinuring na close friend haay. ambasura pala ng buhay ko dati O_____O okay. siguro hindi naman basura. uhh tanga lang. haha. pero astig pala kasi nalinawan na ako sa testimony ko ng pagiging Christian. :D ngayon ko lang naintindihan na kahit hindi ko pa nadedeclare na si Jesus ang Lord and Savior ko dati, kahit wala pang words sa bibig ko nun, yung meaning nasa puso ko. kasi bago ko pa marealize, nagwowork na sken yung Holy Spirit simula pa nung grade school ako. yun yung nagbigay sken ng wisdom para malaman ko na ako'y Christian na. at sinave na ako ni Lord. haay. ang saya naman :D haha.

nakakatuwa naman magreview sa msa. okay. siguro hindi. 3 days palang napapasukan ko. tapos 27 hours na. O_O may lunchmates ako tapos nakapagjollibee, KFC, at greenwich na kami. haha. kelangan maubos namin yung mga resto sa katipunan haha. haay ayoko na magcomment sa teachers baka kung ano pa masabi ko na hindi maganda =)) haha pero masaya naman. or not. at least masaya ako pag english :)) naaappreciate ko sobra yung mga natututunan ko sa vocab :D :D tapos masaya pa yung teacher namin. ay dami ko rin palang nakikitang pisay na pakalat-kalat dun. kahapon lang nakita ko sina julia, mia, andrea, isay, joanna, kit, met, bingbong, tapos pinuntahan ko sa kfc sina mai + Na + friends. haha. wala lang. haay.

ang weird pa rin. sana. sana. sana. sana. sana. uhh. sana masaya lahat ng mga kaibigan ko :D kahit hindi lahat nassharean ko ng kwento masaya pa rin ako na nakilala ko sila haha. grabe mas gusto ko pa rin sa blogger magblog. haha at least walang nagbabasa. ang bobo kasi ng multiply. announcement pa sa world yung post mo. kahit walang kwentang entry lang kagaya nito =)) haha. sana masaya today ;)

BAKIT HINDI AKO MATH 6?

2009-05-15T21:29:00.001+08:00

To think of this now feels like i'm opening yet another chapter in my life.

Four summers I've spent continuously in math classes with the country's top students. I wake up each summer morning expecting and eager to solve math problems just for the sake of self-satisfaction and knowing that most kids in my age group won't be able to answer the same challenging problems. But every summer felt the same. While other kids get to enjoy their summer in beaches, or playing, watching television and eating, I was sacrificing time but not knowing when and where this sacrifice counts. I did earn friends who share some of my interests (math among others) yet I don't see in myself the same passion that they have in their eyes when it comes to Math. They were there because they have something to prove; I was only so because I've gotten used to it.

I stayed because Math was something I can do and learn even when I know I can't handle it entirely. At least, for some time, I'd belong somewhere. There was also the enthusiasm mixed with apprehension when I'm blessed enough to be a part of a team sent to compete internationally. While I was happy that this pleased my parents and teachers among others, I was contemplating on other possibilities of where my life could lead me. After all, we were taught in Math that there are infinite possibilities.

It took me some time to realize (with the help of a certain someone) God has something better in store for me than spending my days in a place and situation that, I know in my heart, has no place in my future. But more courage was necessary for me to step out of this circle that society drew to constrain me. I entered Pisay with a label of an MTG kid. For some, I may be known as a Math girl and was expected to know Math lessons in advance. This did take its toll in my self-esteem. But knowing how special I am in the eyes of God is more than enough to boost my confidence.

Really, I didn't 'escape' Math. I just a found the best place in God's kingdom where I am more useful. This is the first summer I spent away from the regularity of Math. Having the courage to join the FIRST Robotics Competition was a first step. There I felt that I'm more of a liability than an advatage, but still I continued to put my faith in God knowing that He was the one who placed me there. He showed me that He's made me to do more things than I can imagine; that He'd give me more happiness and credit than I deserve.

And what really moved (more like shoved) me to continue walking God's way was the Leadership-Discipleship Camp last May 3-9 with the theme UnMe. I gained so many things, and at the same time I learned to give up my whole self in order to follow God's heart. I wish to (and I will) share my experiences as well as my faith to my friends and enemies and continue living the Word of God.

But camps, like what kuya pito had said, are comfort zones. I know that there I was surrounded by Godly people who wouldn't tempt me to sin. Reading my memories in my blog, I realized what roller coaster ride my Spiritual life had been just after the Acts Camp, which was another milestone in my relationship with God. I pray to continue being faithful and I humble myself just like the True Humility God IS before me.

TO REMOVE ASSUMPTIONS, I DIDN'T GET TIRED OF MATH (and I hope Math feels the same way.) I GOT TIRED OF LIVING A LIFE WITHOUT A PURPOSE. I FOUND MY PURPOSE IN GOD AND IT IS SUCH BLISS TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING WITH A SMILE, KNOWING THAT WHAT YOU ARE TO DO DURING THE DAY IS FOR SOMETHING GREATER: TO TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES.

"FOR ME, TO LIVE IS CHRIST AND TO DIE IS GAIN." Philippians 1:21

yeah! i'm done being pathetic :D

2009-05-13T16:44:00.001+08:00

LCDCamp: UnMe

2009-05-10T14:26:00.000+08:00

may 3-9. grabe. grabe. grabe. sobrang daming nangyari. hindi lang hangover ang meron sa 'kin ngayon. my life is changed na naman. :)

nagkita-kita kami sa may parking lot sa The Block. nung una kong nakita mga tao, ang weird ng feeling. nafeel ko na camp talaga siya kasi wala akong kilalang tao. haha. nagpakaloner pa ako nung first day tapos di ko kinakausap mga cabin mates ko :)) meron naman akong ilang kilalang tao dun like yung mga pisay alumni, kuya pito, kuya jon. kuya jerome at ate shayne. :) tapos kasama ko rin pala dela paz siblings.

nung second day yung nagkakilala talaga kaming girls dahil sa banquet night. :> :)) haha dami naming assumptions kasi nagdatingan yung mga stalker stuff galing sa boys. "IKAW BA SI PIKACHU, KASI I CHOOSE YOU." :)) *ahemKRISTINEahem* tapos turns out na may dalawang guy partners ang girls at tinuruan sila ng mga kuya counselors na mangharana. :)) ang cool. partners ko si cedie na nung afternoon ko lang nakilala at si christian na nung night ko lang na yun nakita :)) astig ng getting to know you. :D at lesson for the day, gift ni Lord ang sexuality at sex. :D

may small group pala kami. SG6 ako. kuya pito at ate joan counselors namin. tapos miss ko na sgmates ko: alvin, jairus at michael. yeah. ako lang ang babae :)) dami kong natutunan sa kanila. sobrang disappointing dahil di ko sila nakilala ng lubos. D: nagpromise nga pala ako kay alvin na susulatan ko siya haha. :) at ang cuuute ng SG picture namin :>

tapos recreation team! haha kami ang T4H or TRANSFORM 4 HIM. :D haha *owaowaachuchuachuchu* cheerleading nung first recreation. yeah. nagfirstplace kami with team Gala. :)) nung second day yung astig. may obstacles. 10 stations. electric fence na kelangan makapunta from one side to another lahat ng members through maliit na square. yung duck walk na pinatay yung leg muscles ko. recite ng Bible verses. at yung pinakaastig, slide sa mud =)) wee sobrang naputikan talaga ako nun na akala mo lupa yung damit ko. sobrang saya. and kami pala ang pinakamabilis na nakatapos ng 8 (or 9?) stations. haha. last day naman nagfamily feud kami. *TOP 5 REASONS KUNG BAKIT HINDI NAGPAPAGUPIT SI KUYA EHCO* hahaha. and yeah, first place uli kami dun =)) kaya naman meron kaming gift check na p250 na pinambili ng soft drinks. :))

missions night naman nagmuslim costume kami :D grabe. may racial discrimination talaga. tapos natutunan ko na hindi naman dapat kaawaan yung mga muslim na nakalong skirt. at least may hiya sila. hindi kagaya nung mga babaeng nagmimini skirt. tapos yung dinner namin sa banana leaf tapos kami girls yung mga nagserve. ang gandang experience ng muslim culture. :D at nainspire ako magmission :D

every morning nagigising ako ng before 6am para maligo. every meal may pakulo yung isang small group na server. *BUMBERO! PAHINGI NG TUBIG! MAGSASAKA! PAHINGI NG KANIN!*. every breakfast may QT sharing at memory verse *ahemKUYAJONAHahem* after breakfast may workperiod. isang araw nakapaglinis ako ng apat na cubicles ng comfort rooms :)) every after lunch may siesta na maingay pa rin. every night may cabin sharing, then quiet time :D

pinakamemorable experience yung last days. :D grabe yung tama sken nung nagwashing of feet kami. gawin natin sa iba yung ginawa sa atin ni Jesus na paghuhugas ng paa (not literally.) tapos yung final challenge na pinaiyak talaga kaming lahat. O_O sobrang dami pang nangyari na sobraaaang sayaaa. ang hirap imention lahat. tapos nung last night pala nagconfession yung mga girls :)) *SINONG NAAAPPRECIATE MO SA CAMP?* balita ko pati boys nagganun ah. :> =)) tapos ang saya nung pauwi na sa bus :))

basta, ang dami kong nashare sa iba. ang daming nashare sken. grabe yung expositions ni Ptr. Noli na sapul talaga sa puso. di ko makakalimutan yung mga small group activities na sobrang tinuruan ako. pati yung mga sessions na sobrang applicable sa buhay. at yung mga skits ng mga counselors na talagang nakaktouch ng puso *KUYA PITO*

sa camp na 'to naremind ako na si God ang Lord and Savior ko. sobrang nainlove uli ako sa Kanya at binibigay ko na sa Kanya ang control sa buhay ko :) i pray na magpatuloy ako sa paggrow at sana hindi ko kalimutan at magamit ko ang mga natutunan ko.

miss ko na cabinmates kooooo. kristine, jaecelle, erica, ate joan, ate jaja, ate bjo. tapos sgmateeees. recreation teammates. counselooooors and staff and YANA and SAMMY... lahat ng campeeeers. :D :D

just marking this day before it ends :)

2009-04-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

plus one more person D:

2009-04-27T22:14:00.001+08:00

to prove i'm right. that i don't deserve anything good in life.

good luck to me. :D :D :D

don't remind me of this post

2009-04-24T03:03:00.004+08:00

------. it's sixth grade all over again. how can i not learn from that one mistake of my life that surely made a mark, a scar, to a person who cared most about me. i'm good at forgetting. and that has always been the solution to all complicated problems life had leisure to throw at me. and with forgetting, i add my indifference.----. ----. ----. i'm so low to be anyone's friend. i don't deserve any warmth from other people. i'm a lowly incosiderate selfish pathetic liar. gosh, this is so true. ----. and as if any of these realizations and self-incrimination will actually help. ----. put a bullet through me, and i won't even complain.

surprise surprise

2009-04-23T00:09:00.003+08:00

fudge naman. tae. may CRUSH ako. aw mehn. hindi dapaaaaat. galit ako sa kanya dati tapos... waah. what happened?! dammit. never mind when it started. but fact is that i actually recognized that i LIKE him. fudge. man. dang. kristinaaaaaaaaa. get a hold of yourself. :(( waah. i can't brainwash myself into uncrushing him. kasi namaaan. galit dapat ako sa kanyaaaaaaaaa. oa naman ng buhay na to. walang magawa. yo LIFE, maghanap ka nga ng ibang hobby. wag buhay ko guluhin mo! tae. kahit si future crush nalang icrush ko pede pa. at least yun hindi ko nakakausap. pero yung ngayon?! man, he's taken. SOBRA. at masama siya. at. at. at. at galit siya sa 'kin. at galit ako sa kanya. at hindi siya hot. (lol random to) at rude siya. at nakakausap ko siya at makakausap pa. waah. dang you buhay na walang kwenta. nagjojoke lang ako dati na gusto ko ng drama sa buhay. don't take it seriously! ok lang kahit boring buhay ko promise. di na ako magrereklamo (hindi naman talaga). waah. mag-aaral pa po ako. hindi ako makakaconcentrate kung may CRUSH ako. :((

hahahahaha. =))
ang over nito. haha. yay. di ko na siya crush :))

happy :D

2009-03-21T11:03:00.003+08:00

D:

i hate everything. lagi na lang. bawal maging masaya. bat ganun? aww. ang sama naman sken. haha. temporary happiness lang siguro yung fact na wala siyang leash. pero babalik din siguro yun. kasi una at huli nga diba? sa akin lang yung in-between. yung tanga na umasa pa pero wala rin naman pala. yun yung sinasabi niya. iba naman nararamdaman ko. :\

tapos wala na rin. summer na. asa na lang na ganun pa rin next year. haha. it'll fade with time. tae. nakakuha ako ng text message kahapon. grabe. sapul sa puso. O:

One grows distant from another not because of hatred, not because of
indifference, but because of fear. There's the fear that the hurt gets greater
as one gets closer; sometimes what drives one away is not the absence of
emotion, but the overwhelming presence of it.

kunwari di ko naintindihan. TIME. help. gusto kong makalimot. :)) haha. joke. kasi naman. hirap. haha. hirap nang walang nakakaintindi sayo. tapos umaasa ka na meron. haha. tanga talaga ng mga tao.

sorry sa lahat. D:

sorry dahil ganito ako mag-isip. or sorry dahil nag-exist pa ako. haha.

kaya namang matutong maging masaya kahit ganito ang buhay. diba?

fear? O:

2009-03-20T21:34:00.003+08:00

probably my last day in school with most of my batchmates D: reached school past ten. ata. met riscia and got the news that we're still roommates next year with peyt :DDDDD yay. tleast i'm assured na ;) returned books. and saw my classmaaates. adie and mg gave me pastillas and yema (sp?) from subic when they had the class outing and left me with robo. =P THANKS :) <3

one-on-one with ate erin. aww. parang pinagkakatiwala na niya sa 'kin ang Acts. hindi naman :\ nagshare ng useful stuffs. encouraging. reminders. stuffs. and tips for fourth year :D haha. aww. mamimiss ko Acts o9. haay. had lunch with ate erin.

robo. practised tinikling. may part na bubuhatin ako ni kit :)) haha. sana hindi ako mabigat. fun sumayaw kung di lang ako tanga. haha. ay bago pala magtinikling naglinis muna kami ng bio room. aww last moments with Sr. cleaning. D:

bumili kami nina mai chuck kuya meinard ng costumes for tinikling. hindi nakabili ng screws. nagsundae sa BK : kasi friday pala at bawal magmeat. hindi nakapag-two-timer si chuck =)) balik pisay. got plane tickets. and shirts. and money haha. thanks DOST ;) or Philippines. kung sino man ang generous enough na gumastos para sa aming mag-aaral na lalaban sa robotics. haha.

hinatid ako ni kuya meinard sa mrt station. at nilibre ng mcdo haha. salamat :D

aww. kulang.

wanna read. currently on Life of Pi. maganda raw sabi ni maam sabanal.

sigh. uneventful. D:

hey

2009-03-18T22:11:00.000+08:00

as always, i only remember to blog when i'm depressed. :\

spent a day and a half in Laguna for our robo team-building. twas fun. did outdoor activities. including swimming in a pool with hot spring water :) ate a lot of food. and now i'm less thin (because i CAN'T say i'm fat =P.) oh, and i survived a lunch with ONLY VEGGIES. ha, take that. we're leaving for hawaii on monday. D: i'd probably cram packing my stuffs like the usual morning before departure.

i'm detached from school. i won't miss anyone over the summer. gosh it's only for two months. and so many things to do. at least i planned to do. and that does not include thinking of certain unnecessary distractions.

don't wanna fret about missing people. because next thing you'd know, we're seniors already. and that sucks.

fine. i'd miss a person or two. but i'll try not to. and that requires a lot of effort.

oh please. don't flatter yourself. isn't you.

sheesh. still isn't over with my people problems D:

must blog more. think less. ;p

i feel like i'm falling

2009-02-25T04:04:00.004+08:00

two sundays ago, i went to church by myself. the night before was spent in the astb hall and that was valentines. i woke up late and hated myself for doing so. then i wasn't able to go to church with my family. so i had to arrange for my parents to pick me up from pisay and to drop me off to a nearby church. i ended up attending the 5pm service in Bread of Life at Crossroad77 by myself. haven't been there for quite a while. i remember how most of my sundays as a kid were spent there. always playing with my older siblings. i do remember learning and loving the church songs here. that sunday, as a valentine celebration, there was a choir that sung love songs. and for me, all love songs i share with Him :)

Standing tall in this wide space
Getting lost in Your embrace
I see a fire burning brighter
It's calling me to catch the flame

I feel like I'm falling over and over in love with You
It's not just a feeling, but I know that He is real
I feel like I'm falling into the arms of a mighty God
It's not just a feeling, but I know that He is real

You're drawing me closer to Your side
It's the safest place I know where to hide
With one glance You captured my heart
You speak Your words and set me apart

I feel like I'm falling, I feel like I'm falling
I feel like I'm falling, falling into the arms of love

hey. how's life?

2009-02-22T16:02:00.007+08:00

for some reason(s), i feel like i'm deteriorating.

sigh. too many things happened since my last post.

there was robo for a certain amount of time. then, there was none. larry's probably in hawaii right now. and a part of me misses him like he's a real person. or maybe it's just the time we spent working on him that i miss.

robo was fun while it lasted. i got used to staying outside the dorm until way past 8pm and even staying over night in the astb hall for a number of nights. oh, the free food. and programmers' conference over m&ms. of course, the people who i probably won't notice outside robo. basta, iunno what to look forward to after everything. weird. but robo has a lot of negative effects on me. or maybe they were realizations in actuality.

can't believe i din't blog about prom. but now, i think i'll leave everything to my poor memory. why? maybe because i'm too lazy to recount anything. maybe nothing worth typing happened. or maybe i'm just not generous enough to share my experiences. i want everything to myself. and now, i'm just waiting for this one night to fade.

there was YMSAT. everything that happened was predictable. and boring. then intrams last week. i din't join any game like last year. because i'm still afraid to encounter the same feeling like first year. :(

and so far, last week was the worst week this 2009 for me. i've this resolve that i don't have the right to complain about any pain that i feel. that includes heartaches.

i hate getting attached to people.

and this post din't turn out the way i imagined.

this is one of those days...

2009-01-07T21:47:00.002+08:00

...when i don't even want to remember my own name.

do you regret it?

2009-01-07T00:08:00.000+08:00

O:

2009-01-06T01:51:00.000+08:00

gising pa ako.

hindi pa ako nagddinner.

pero ako nagluto ng dinner kanina. :D

wala akong ginagawa.

pero marami akong dapat gawin.

lalalalala~

can't sleeeeep ehhhh. :(

i wish you'd talk to me....?

haha sana. pero. yea.

nope. wag na lang :(

you'd probably say you don't know me.

gah. tanga:/

uhh. wanna eat.

i've to sleep! and grow tall pa right?

>____<

hay.

oxygen is more important than love

2009-01-05T22:09:00.002+08:00

stolen from agnes :D

Ten things you want to say to ten different people
1. will you go to the prom with me. :> :))
2. i. want. to. be. your. friend. :(
3. i knew you existed way before they noticed you.
4. i like you more than you like(d) me.
5. gusto ko ng totoong usap. :
6. thanks for the trust. kahit hindi tayo close :P
7. user :/ i thought there was more.
8. oo na, mas magaling ka na. :P
9. if only we were friends to begin with :\
10. hi, i'm kristina *smile*

Nine things about yourself (random)
1. insomniac for the past 2 weeks or so.
2. i like wearing oversized shirts.
3. i listen more than i blab.
4. i learn a lot from cartoons.
5. i have a sweet tooth ^^
6. i daydream a lot =))
7. i like making my brother(s) cry.
8. i sing in the shower. ('cept sa dorm :P) don't we all?
9. i'm easily distracted xD

Eight ways to win my heart
1. let me annoy you.
2. make sure i want to talk to you before doing so.
3. libre. :D (if i want)
4. if you know what i know. i mean, that.
5. if you have adorable younger siblings whom i can bully.
6. if you're friends with my friends.
7. talk to me because you want to, not as a desperate act to escape boredom.
8. sweets? didn't they say that the best way to a girl's heart is through her stomach? :))

Seven things that cross your mind a lot (not in any order)
1. callous and aloof, long silver-haired bishounen with sword skills and a drive for revenge :>
2. kei-kei-sama and some random OC :))
3. problems of random people. (haha seriously.)
4. breakfast.
5. lunch.
6. dinner.
7. this person who happens to love hanging out inside my mind :

Six things you wish you never did
1. not getting sick on my last birthday :(
2. asked her stuffs about ~~him~~ them. :P
3. stole glances...:\
4. read his mind.
5. went to gym when it's not time for PE. :
6. introduced myself to her.

Five things you first notice physically in the opposite sex
1. eyes :D
2. hair
3. smile
4. ...
5. hindi ako observant ehhh.

Four favorite foods
1. cookies&cream-flavored ice cream
2. flans and custards
3. chocolates
4. quarter pounder

Three things you want to do before you die
1. sky dive :D
2. murder someone and get away with it.
3. have a guy best friend :)

Two smileys that describe your life
1. :D
2. >:D< (random)

One confession
1. i tried to learn how to cook my imaginary person's favorite food =))))))))))))
kill me now.

wala.wala.wala

2009-01-04T18:27:00.002+08:00

pinoprove ko lang na nagbblog ako pag wala akong kausap :D =P

haha. kanina sa church i stood as one of the second mothers of this year-old girl named vanessa. she doesn't have parents :( kasi her mom died when she was born, tapos her dad left her. saaaad. pero masaya na i'm responsible for raising her. well, sort of.

tae lapit na magclasses :(
sad kasi mamimiss ko ibully si denjo. ahww. and hindi ko pa feel magcafood din :/ yuck. ayoko rin namang maubos pera ko sa deli. pero kailangan kong kumain. dami nagsasabi saken. haha. hindi ako mataba! (--> new year's resolution ko na hindi ko na sasabihin na mataba ako haha.)

pero gusto ko na rin pumasok :D miss strontium (yeh right.) and roomies pechay and pate. patii. patii.. uhh basta 'friends' hahaha. tapos pinapalayas na rin ako sa bahay ng kapatid ko haha. magulo raw pag nandito ako :P

hey. :D haha ang labo tae. nung ok na kami... i mean, nung medyo naconfirm ko na okay na. tapos biglang poof. yung ano naman :)) haha tae. ang opposite nilaaaaa. cute. :D

yo. opposites attract. so go on your way and attract each other. don't mind me :P

hala. may foodsci home work! tapos may foodsci sa wed?!

lalalala. hindi pa ako boreeeeeeeeed.
haha may hundred thousand words to read pa.
and one thousand to write for str :D

gosh, 8 months seem long >___<
pero pero kaya yan :D hahaha
:excited:

sige.sige.sige.
i've to eat.eat.eat.

9 disappointments of 2008

2009-01-03T15:22:00.006+08:00

last na hirit:P

don't mind this post :D i just need to get some people out of my system. :D:D
happy 2009 :)

1. you certainly made things harder. well, at the beginning. and i can't forget the way you acted like a jerk. i can't hate you just because you chose that road. your loss anyway.

2. i don't want to blame you for everything. but, at least, feel bad about it. i couldn't care less before but you came along and everything became crappy and stupid and immature, and you had that effect on the person i liked.

3. we were friends. actually, i was twice a friend for you. anonymous? anyway, i'm probably only disappointed because you found out about him even before i did so myself. and i hated you for that forecast.

4. i just met you, met you. and i'm wondering why you have that effect on me :\ because whenever you're being yourself, i actually become extra careful with the things i say. for some reason, i become guilty when you treat me that way.

5. conceited. oh, please, save yourself and stop treating me like i'm your fangirl. indifferent, remember?

6. kasi we have soooooooo much in common. =)))) i happen to know you have good taste. :> but that was low even for you.

7. you're the same as number 2. one day, you'd realize that i'm never really worth it. but i know that way way before. so no surprises there. i'm just waiting. like everybody else on this planet. gosh, too much effort on that.

8. i was amazed on how little time it took you to penetrate my wall. but, kid, you ruined your reputation on my book just as fast. grow up. not everything depends on her impression of you.

9. you can't really be a disappointment since you probably don't even know i exist. except for whatever impression you have based on what he has told you. but our eyes met twice. or was that just me staring and you being unnerved?

oh, don't be so modest. no need to admit you're one of them. it's 2009 anyway.

bringing these names to the grave,
kristina^____^

so...this is goodbye:)

2008-12-31T19:47:00.006+08:00

2008 is almost almost over. really this year has been very fruitful. blessed in many different ways. and i'm closer to Him, if i may say so. kaya sobrang thankful ako :D

and to think that God never let go of me for the past 365 days<3... and all those mornings that i woke up, kahit may frown kagad sa face ko.. the fact that He woke me up every morning with His breath of life... bastaaaa.

haay.

waaah. i'm too tamad to write a tear-jerking end-of-the-year post:))

basta, lotsa milestones this year. kahit extra extra dami yung mga trials and temptations xD hahaha. right now, i just wanna laugh every thing off. sigh.

Lord, every single achievement as well as failure this 2008, every smile and laughter, every tear and sorrow, every wish and dream, everything i've been through, i lift to You.
the past 365 days of this year goes only to you:D

i got a new heart even before the new year. cuz i din't wanna wait. :D
though i don't really think i'm sharing it with anyone:))

to everyone, thanks, sorry and i love you :D

and from my daily bread--

"To close the gate on yesterday's failure will require two things: God's forgiveness and your forgetfullness--His forgiveness and your willingness to close the gate.

Your willingness to forgive yourself is sometimes harder to do than to find God's forgiveness. Yet if God has given His Son to provide a way to forgive us, why should we do any less than to forgive ourselves?

Closing the gate on yesterday--and latching it--gives hope for tomorrow."

Happy New Year everyone:D

i can only say that there are great things in store for us this 2009 :D
because that's how God works ;)

half the world is sleeping, half the world's awake

2008-12-28T22:34:00.002+08:00

i can't say that they're my most favorite people in the world. and one day, i'd like to disprove what they say, that "blood is thicker than water". you see, i never liked them in and out. well, except for that time when i was four and one of them taught me how to color with my crayons. that was years ago. besides, we only know each other by one's achievements and mistakes. them, more for their mistakes, mistakes that my parents kept repeating we shoudn't make.

but it's Christmas season and they had to visit us last night. even though how much i will myself, i really can't socialize with them. sorry. i do try to talk, i swear, but everything comes out in a neutral manner, saying i'm neither interested in little talks nor do i care about what's going on with their lives. it's a fault on my side that we never got along.

they were going to stay until the next morning. clearly, i cant help it if my parents are hospitable. i went out of the house, in the hours of darkness, half past ten exactly. walked around, though how much my legs hurt from jogging earlier that evening, to escape the awkwardness when they ask me questions i don't even want to answer.

so there i was, in the middle of the night, sitting on a swing set under a single streetlamp, straining my neck just to see the dull sky. there weren't any stars, or maybe it was just my vision. i smelled the rusty iron of the swings and i cant help but remember the smell of my own blood. i can feel mosquitoes feasting on my bare legs. it was cold. but i'd sleep there if i have to. sacrifice just so they won't have to see me when i give up and admit that i lost their game. though i'm not even sure what the damn prize was. sometimes i do wish i was never born. and, really, i have enough reason to.

but what hurts most is when you're trying to make someone understand what you're going through...of course it's me. i never learn, do i? i never learned from past experiences that no one understands me, that no one cares for me, or at least they dont care enough. but i keep trying to make them understand, and to make them care more. and i keep expecting. and i keep making that same mistake over and over again. because people keep disappointing me each time. again, it's my fault. i know.

in my private world, i may be alone but it's up to me if i choose to be lonely.

there i was in the middle of the night gazing at the black cloudless sky, swinging as fast as my sore legs can take, and when i thought i was about to tear, my dad came. clueless as he was, he swung there next to me. i return back home half an hour before midnight.

next time i'll make sure i go to my secret place and not in a playground 20 meters away from home. of course there'd be a next time. i just wish i'd be wise enough to learn from my own mistake. never again will i try to tell the secrets of my world.

poison apples don't grow on trees

2008-12-26T22:54:00.003+08:00

i can't help myself if i keep reading your thoughts. kasi sometimes, when you're not being selfish or vain, you do think of worthwhile things. and i happen to like stealing your memory. pero when that happens, when you simply feel like being emo and telling the world how much you miss your childhood, when you start recounting your days and typing away, convincing everyone, including myself, that you deserve everything i have, little miss green-eyed me takes over. but at least i don't say a thing about it. i never told you off. because it isn't my hobby to take candies from babies. well, figuratively speaking. i suppose it's also because i was never meant to have what i want. that, i know already. i merely keep my thoughts to myself, wishing that the wind blows my curse to your place and one day you'd cry your eyeballs off. i want to make my demands known to you, but, dear, your pretty much dense. well, it's that or you just won't give up on him.

you heard me.

2008-12-18T18:32:00.003+08:00

Lord, you have a problem. My life is a mess. Please fix it.
Thank you.

Love,
Kristina.

"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief."
Ecclesiastes 1:18

a good reminder of God's love

2008-12-17T11:12:00.003+08:00

from a forwarded mail.

Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel tracts.

This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, "OK, dad, I'm ready."

His Pastor dad asked, "Ready for what?"

"Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out."

Dad responds, "Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain."

The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, "But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?"

Dad answers, "Son, I am not going out in this weather."

Despondently, the boy asks, "Dad, can I go? Please?"

His father hesitated for a moment then said, "Son, you can go. Here are the tracts, be careful son."

"Thanks Dad!"

And with that, he was off and out into the rain. his eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a Gospel tract.

After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST TRACT. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted.

Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.

Finally, this eleven year old trooper turned to leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch! He rang again and this time the door slowly opened. Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady.

She softly asked, "What can I do for you, son?"

With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that *JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU* and I came to give you my very last Gospel tract which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE."

With that, he handed her his last tract and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. "Thank you, son! And God Bless You!"

Well, the following Sunday morning in church Pastor Dad was in the pulpit. As the service began, he asked, "Does anybody have any testimony or want to say anything?"

Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her feet. As she began to speak, a look of glorious radiance came from her face, "No one in this church knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Sunday I was not a Christian. My husband passed on some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live.

So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof, then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, "I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away." I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly. I thought to myself again, "Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me." I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder.

When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead, TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, "Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU." Then he gave me this Gospel Tract that I now hold in my hand.

As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this Gospel tract. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more.

You see---I am now a Happy Child of the KING. Since the address of your church was on the back of this Gospel Tract, I havecome here to personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell."

There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts of praise and honor to THE KING resounded off the very rafters of the building, Pastor Dad descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angel was seated.

He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

Probably no church has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love & honor for his son. Except for One.

Our Father also allowed His Son to go out into a cold and dark world.

He received His Son back with joy unspeakable, and as all of heaven shouted praises and honor to The King, the Father sat His beloved Son on a throne far above all principality and power and every name that is named.

Blessed are your teary eyes for reading this message.

Don't let this message die, read it again and pass it to others who may need this encouragement & motivation to not give up in being a witness, even in seemingly small ways.

Heaven is for His people!

Remember, God's message CAN make the difference in the life of someone close to you.

Please share this wonderful message...

"Faith is the affirmation and the act that bids eternal truth be present fact."
- Coleridge

because i can't say it out loud

2008-12-16T20:30:00.001+08:00

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
>> yesssh. ugh. bad memories. haha. kasi... :P :))

Two days from now this time, where will you be?
>> dahlia! kung matutuloy.. kung hindi, dorm pa rin.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
>> yes. galit siya saken ngayon.

Have you ever thought you were going to marry someone?
>> =))))))) nung kinder ako.. once lang! haha.

Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
>> nope.. he doesn't even knooww i exist. ata. haha. riiigght.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
>> pate? riscia?... plata? haha forgot =P

How late did you stay up last night and why?
>> 10pm. haha. ehh, nakakaantok magphys or socsci...

Have you ever liked someone on your top friends?
>> walang top friends. so no. haha

Do you smoke weed everyday?
>> hindi everyday.

Could you go a month without cursing?
>> try. ata. haha. i hope.

Have you ever ridden a horse?
>> lotsa times. pero nakakatakot pag tumatakbo yung horse :|

If you can take one friend on vacation with you, who?
>> hahaha. uhh. si... si... wala pala akong friend. sorreh.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
>> :| mom. nung nag-away kami. D:

You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it?
>> alcohol... haha.

Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like crap?
>> i'm always nice :D

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?
>> bahala siya. his loss.

When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking?
>> nung isang araw. haha joke. uhh...hmm... hindi pala joke yun :|

Who are your favorite people to talk to when you’re down?
>> maria, socorro, kristina, msk, tina, extina, etc.

Does the person you like, like you back?
>> do i like myself? Yes.

When's the last time you talked with the opposite sex on the phone? Who?
>> can't remember haha..

Are you friends with someone who lies about the stupidest stuff ever?
>> nope.. because if so i won't be able to stand him.

Do you think you are a good person?
>> malamang. haha. no.

What did you do today?
>> perio! haha tae ang dali ng physics. procrastinating.

What will you be doing in 3 hours?
>> studying. haha asa. tulog na ako nun.

Do you miss the way things used to be?
>> yes. back when i couldn't care less.

Would you ever live with anyone on your top friends?
>> okay lang. teka. wala akong friends ha.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past three months?
>> yeap. girls haha. and aaron.

Does anyone call you baby?
>> wala. unless they have a death wish.

Are you a patient person?
>> i guess so. :D

Have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn't?
>> yeap. kasi naman. wala kang kwenta. waste ng oxygen sa mundo :|

Do you believe exes can be friends?
>> NO. haha. joke. pwede naman. syempre. \

What is the last thing you said out loud?
>> "disconnected...ughh"

Are you ticklish?
>> secret. =P

How is your heart lately?
>> walang magawa. naaasar. haha.

Are you a jealous person?
>> uhh. try mo. :))

Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else?
>> yeap.

Do you like to text or call more?
>> text. mahirap lang ako e. haha.

What do you think about the person you stole this from?
>> hindi ko siya kilala. so thank you. whoever you are. :D

What are you wearing right now?
>> red pajamas and shirt. :P

How was your day?
>> boring. malungkot. medyo. walang kwenta. nakakaasar kasi nakita ko pa. ugh. tapos yung... ay bawal nga pala. :D

What usually cheers you up?
>> ice cream! chocolate. crying brother (denjo, kahit si kuya haha. i wish.)

What color are your eyes?
>> really dark brown.. bat lahat ng surveys may eye color?

How are your grades?
>> uhh. =P

What are your plans for tomorrow?
>> mag-aral ng bio. hahaha. kumaiiiiiiin.

Do you like sports?
>> yes. i like watching sports. haha.

Do you like haunted houses?
>> okay lang. boring though. yung superrr scary dapat. as in yung matatakot ako. diba yun purpose nun?

c'mon, life. just say it. that i don't deserve to be happy. at least then i won't even bother to try.

2008-12-15T19:20:00.001+08:00

it isn't like i'd take it against you.

i'm at my best when praising you, Lord

2008-12-14T18:06:00.003+08:00

and i'll be my best in everything. :D

~o~

grrrr. panget.panget.panget mag-expect. nakakaasaaaaaar. haha. nanaginip ako kagabi... ng cake. tapos may icing. tapos nakasulat yun. tae naman. masyado akong nadadala. dahil... yeah. dang. walang kwenta mag-expect. waste of time. kasi hindi mangyayariiii... ugh. haha. in any case. gusto ko pa rin ng cake haha. kahit happy birthday. or merry christmas :)) bastaaaa. nakakaasaaaar. sobra. haha. tapos dahil dun sa thing kahapon.. mas lalong walang kwenta. bahala na. basta. yung plan. haha. grabe. ngayong vacation. buong vacation. yun lang gagawin ko. >:))) graaaah.

tales

2008-12-13T10:25:00.005+08:00

whenever i see her, or even just hear from her, all my resolve crumbles into dust. i lose all my self-confidence. and she takes them away, unbeknownst to her. i'm imprisoned by myself. bounded by chains of fear and regret while she's out there expressing herself to the world. i'm envious of her. she's dancing, shoes in hand, while i stand in a corner, hiding in the shadows. she laughs her heart out while i have my small smile. smile that holds all my thoughts and feelings inside. she's out in the real world while i stay in my own little sanctuary, locked by myself. alone. i envy her. i envy her smile because i have yet to see the same genuine smile on my own face. i envy her carefree demeanor as if she has not yet experienced the real horridness of this earthly life. i envy the way she speaks her mind, in that she gets everything she's ever wanted and needed. i envy her because there are people who wants to be around her. people who will comfort her when she cries. while my tears, only the wind sees. and one last thing. i envy her. because she owns something that i want. something that i can never take away from her. memories of him.

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, ADA :)

2008-12-13T08:54:00.008+08:00

THURSDAY spelled stress. even though we had 1.40 dismissals, the day was crammed with tests. in the morning we were all ~~cramming~~ finishing our physics homework. i gave up answering everything because i was also cramming to study other subjects. in the end, i copied a couple of numbers from mikhail's paper copied from joed's paper copied from damian's work, which is very much reliable. mg even copied from me, i think :D oh, we were helping each other =P

i love ma'am de joya. she just gave us a short quiz and we had the rest of her time to do other things. i tried to study for fil but my mind din't absorb much. i was able to memorize all 3 authors of the short stories though. i dint recognize much of the first 15 numbers of the fil longtest -___- i guessed most of it. bio was bio. i din't listen AT ALL. probably why i need extra extra ~~luck~~ blessing to pass the longtest.

don't wanna talk about physics and chem long tests. :P

since we were dismissed early i was able to sit in Be's english class for a short while. actually i was trying to get ma'am bernal to sign my excuse letter thingy for friday. they were doing their impromptu speeches and maam bernal din't even notice me even when i was sitting right beside her.

not much after that. i wrote a few paragraphs for my fil short story. i'm having writer's block. we had our dinner delivered and i'm afraid i'm getting fat :(

FRIDAY was fun. at least in the afternoon.

i ONLY slept the night before and woke up around 3 in the morning. i started my english homework which was given 2 weeks ago and due next english class. it was garbage. i wasn't able to study bio and the longtest was supeerr hard even if it was multiple choice. owel. at least i still have my faith :D after that everything was done for the week. well, for me.

we went to la salle to have a CAD lecture. mai, ada, jasmine, cat, tj, jj, charlez, job, esguerra, and me. with ma'am xavier. we commuted all the way to manila, jeepney ride+bus+another jeepney ride (?) short tour around the campus then CAD crash course. it was fun. the lecture. because it's interesting and i'm actually learning. i never thought i'd give myself any time to study these kinds of things. we ate in mcdo before heading home. lrt1 + mrt (my first time to ride from end to end) + jeepney to pisay. :)

i'm thrilled to learn new things. really. i was wtf with this robothing at first. just because i never stated any interest in it and suddenly i'm invited to experience such.

i admit i don't know the first thing about robotics and there are probably other students out there who'd be more capable of joining. but even if i am useless, i'm willing to work and learn for everything. i've been sitting in my comfort zone for a while and i want to grab this opportunity to do something new. God did place me here. he'd be the one to take me off :)

this is the first time in a long time that i'm this enthusiastic to learn something. hope i get the hang of it by january :D i'll try not to mind the changes and the pressure. just have fun and learn.

swings

2008-12-11T16:12:00.001+08:00

i can't help but think that there was something in that conversation three months ago. i hate not knowing what's in your mind. and, person, you're definitely hard to read. i don't want to jump into conclusions, so i'll just wait. and wait. and be preoccupied with my imaginary life. pretend i've better things to do than to think about ~~you~~ that.

i'm regretting. and what's frustrating is that i'm regretting something i didn't do. and that's even worse than regretting something you've done. but i only did so for five minutes. =P i won't let petty things affect me more than that.

...

that was...fun. and uber easy :) they're sooooooo predictable. tsk kids. this is child's game. but i'm playing anyway.

sorry if i keep writing 'you', 'your' etc. i like to pretend i'm talking to the subjects of my attention. all the stupid lines with second person pertains to different people, and you're most likely included =P

lotsa things to do. but i shall go on my delayed date first :)

procrastination

2008-12-10T19:52:00.011+08:00

stolen from ate angel :)
3 longtests and 2 quizzes tomorrow. need to study. but i just have to answer this survey. wala lang. procrastinating. =P tae. i should study na...

Can you fill this out without lying?
no.

When was the last time you cried?
just this afternoon. sa grandstand. when there were many people playing sa field. but they don't care so i dint bother hide my tears.

Where is your biological father right now?
at home most likely. wait. he isn't my biological father. :|

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
uhh food from riscia. or was that utang? :))

Was yesterday better than today?
yes. in so many ways.

Can you live a day without TV?
yeap. dormer. i only watch C.S.I. on sundays. :)

What are you listening to?
indescribable by chris tomlin. sorry roomies. sobrang nakaloop 'to at lss na ako. sensya na. :p

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
no.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
last night. really, you were sooo UNRELIABLE. owel. i expected it. but i was testing you. and you failed. you could've at least tried, yknow. and it was the same last week! i was sooo disappointed. ang tanga mo naman. ruining everything just because you can't... ugh. =P =P

What are you wearing?
fair shirt + p.E. shorts + pink socks :) oh, and undergarments. and glasses :P

Where do you wish you were right now?
in your mind.
i'd bossed little you's there so they'd be working. really, you should start thinking.

What item could you not go without during the day?
my phone. not that i text or call people. i use it for telling time :P

Last hug?
aaron (: before i locked myself here in the dorm D:

Last kiss?
i don't remember... at all.

How do you feel about your life right now?
perfect.

Do you hate anyone and why?
aside from myself? well, no. i don't think i ever had the right to hate anyone other than me.

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
nope.. some good things mightn't have happened if i did.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
i guess. except for some people.

Ever kissed your friend's boyfriend or girlfriend?
no. eew.

Do you like anyone now?
yesssh.

Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?
no.

How are you feeling right now?
frustrated.

Are you drifting away from someone you were close with?
possibly.

Last time you laughed?
last week? last month?

If you could seek revenge on someone would you?
i do that all the time.

Last argument?
nov 12. with my mom. sobraaa. but i just know i'm right. and that's actually one of the hardest things. when you can't rebuke them because they're your parents and you have to respect them.

Last nap?
uhh hmm. lunch time yesterday?

How many hours sleep did you get last night?
i din't count.

Excited about anything?
no. no. no. no.

What was the first thing you heard this morning?
"oh sh*t" from myself. i know. i just slipped. sorry. i was in the shower tapos naalala ko yung dream ko. nightmare actually. dang. if that happens, i swear magddrop out ako sa pisay. or change campus! grrr.

What's a happy time you've had in the past week?
i was happy for five minutes this afternoon. when i found out that we have Bible study today. i haven't seen ate jaja and kuya ivan this quarter. i was soooooo excited. i was ready to meet them but i can't find them. tapos wala na pala sila. pinauwi ni rain kasi hindi raw pede yung Cs. pero nandun naman dapat ako. tapos yun, di na masaya. :(

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
yes. =)

Are you a morning person or a night?
i'm a night person. i'm easily pissed in the morning especially if i haven't had my breakfast. or before i shower. hmm, though i don't socialize or talk much at night. 'cept probably on ym. :)

Are you there for your friends?
i try. right? right?

What's something you really want right now?
your time. dammit.

How many TRUE friends do you have?
zero. (if you're my true friend tell me, then i'll change this :D)

Did you ever make anyone laugh when they were crying?
nope. i make them cry even more =(

Name something great that happened today:
the only great thing that happened today.
when i read this from my daily bread: WE DO NOT LOSE HEART.

i'm happy so you don't have to read this =)

2008-12-09T23:47:00.004+08:00

for the past month or so, i've convinced myself that i don't care. about that. i just thought that it'd be better to be indifferent. i was positive that there really was something before but i changed for the worse. now, everything is just so crappy and i can't help but think that at some angle, i've been selfish all along. i didn't try at all. i gave up on that so as to concentrate on even more self-centered matters. but if i take away that certain factor, when i really really think about it... i do care. right now, that's probably the only thing i know that i want. i want it back.

but i'm too much of a coward. it isn't even pride that's stopping me. i'm more of scared. scared to lose it for the second (or is it third?) time around. because i'm not sure if i'd be able to take care of it when i have it. i don't know if i'd have the time that i need for it. i thought i know myself. why am i so clueless when it comes to this?

i hate myself for one more person. i am inconsiderate and selfish after all. i said so many times over and over again to myself that i hate that in a person. i was right. and this is exactly why i hate myself (well, that part of myself. how can i totally hate kristina?)

how many more times do i have to hate myself to spare other people the trouble of hating me?

and can i have you for Christmas?

you don't have to blame me. i'm already blaming myself.

2008-12-08T19:38:00.002+08:00

giveaway na pag sinulat ko pa yung araw na 'to. wow. i actually am taking this differently than she did. it really isn't the same after all. dang. i've come up with a conclusion regarding that certain assumption. but i'm keeping it to mysef. i'm right. of course, i knew that before. i just wanted to have fun observing. shouldn't get excited over little things...

(above paragraph summarizes 3 incidents today leading to my happy-less...uhh self.)

oh, and joe hit me with the soft ball kanina. crud. ang sakit haha. tapos na twist yung ankle ko nung 2nd time kaya hindi ako nakatakbo, haha. and fate really is mocking me. =P i'm ready to face you anytime. literally!

i'm sad. and i hate myself at the moment. twice at that. so you don't have to hate me. i'll do it for you. para hindi masayang effort mo.

lotsa things to cram. but i wanna sleep muna. haha.

i want to play with labvieeew na. :))

i wish that were the case

2008-12-07T21:37:00.006+08:00

may lagnat ako. haha. ang saya.
pero hindi. gusto ko sanang maniwala sayo nung sinabi mo yun. sana ganun na lang talaga. para wala na lang lahat. kaya lang hindi e. ang complicated kasi ayokong magpatalo sa sarili ko. sarili ko lang naman pumipigil saken. ang hirap. confusing grabe. kaasar. hindi ko na alam kung ano yun intelligent choice. pero alam ko kung ano yung mas simple.. pero hindi rin ganun kasimple kung sasamahan mo ng fact na may feelings ako. tae. sana kagaya na lang ng dati na manhid ako sa lahat. ayoko ng ganito. pero hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto ko.
sana mas lumala pa. at least pede kong isipin na physical lang yung sakit.

i hate staring at your name

2008-12-03T22:38:00.003+08:00

...sa contact list sa ym ko.. kasi every time i see it, may gray na unsmiling smiley beside you.

tae. kapal ng mukha mo kung iniisip mo na ikaw 'to.

better than life

2008-12-02T17:09:00.003+08:00

Words and Music by Marty Sampson

Better than the riches of this world
Better than the sound of my friend's voices
Better than the biggest dreams of my heart
And that's just the start

Better than getting what I say I need
Better than living the life that I want to
Better than the love anyone could give
Your love is

You hold me now in your arms
And never let me go

You oh lord make the sun shine
And the moon light in the night sky
You give me breath and all your love
I give my heart to you because

I can't stop falling in love with you
I'll never stop falling in love with you
I can't stop falling in love with you
I'll never stop falling in love with you

my personality type: THE RELIABLE REALIST (RR)

2008-12-01T12:03:00.010+08:00

Reliable Realists are down-to-earth and responsible-minded. They are precise, reserved and demanding. Their most prominent quality is reliability and they will always make every effort to keep any promise given. Reliable Realists are more quiet and serious persons, they do not talk a lot but they are good listeners. (naks) They sometimes seem reserved and distant to outsiders although they often have a great deal of wit and esprit. Their strong points are thoroughness, a marked sense of justice, doggedness bordering on pigheadedness and a pragmatic, vigorous and purposeful manner. Reliable Realists do not dither about if something has to be done. They do what is necessary without wasting words.

This personality type not only expects a lot of himself but also of others. Once Reliable Realists have set their mind on something, it is difficult to persuade them otherwise. They do not like to leave anything to chance. Planning means safety to Reliable Realists, as well as order and discipline. They have no problem respecting authorities and hierarchies but do not like to delegate tasks. They are certain that others would not deal with them as conscientiously as they do. In management positions, they are very task-oriented - they make sure that things are well done; however, they do not have a great deal of interest in personal contacts at work.

In relationships too, Reliable Realists are reliability itself. As partners, they are faithful and consistent, well-balanced and sensible. Security and stability are very important to them. They have little time for extravagances and flightiness. Whoever has them as friend or partner can rely on them for a lifetime. :D However, it takes quite a while for Reliable Realists to enter into a relationship or friendship. They have little need for social contacts; they therefore take great care when choosing partners and friends and limit themselves to a small but exclusive circle which meets their high demands. They tend to show their closeness to people who are important to them by deeds - their partner should rather not expect romantic declarations of love. =))

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, practical, logical, planning, tradition-conscious, organised, persistent,conscientious, cautious, loyal, peace-loving, sensible, down-to-earth, responsible-minded, reserved, careful, independent, objective, tidy, punctual, precise, demanding, ability to concentrate, trustworthy, pedantic, reliable, persevering

back to bleak gray...not

2008-11-27T21:16:00.003+08:00

i missed Acts. grabe. yung feeling ko ngayon parang nawalan ako ng isang month na stipend. no, it has to be worse. stipend siguro ng buong pisay life ko. >_< ang laking loss.

si kuya dave speaker kanina. i think he's been teaching pisay Acts for more than a decade. tapos i've met him several times. nung first year, pinapanood niya kami ng documentary sa Acts tungkol sa Da Vinci's Code. haha ohmehn, i remember. haha galing ng memory ko. that's why i was confident nung nanood ako ng movie nun. my faith wasn't shaken at all!

waah. i can just imagine what happened kanina. it had to be fuuuuuun. haha astig talaga, kahit ano palang mangyari, i'll end up happy for today =D galing talaga ni Lord :) pero sayang yung namiss ko. buti na lang isshare sken ng isang friend yung natutunan niya kanina. i really don't want to miss any opportunity to get to know Him better. tae, ang saya. I LOVE THURSDAYS.

:(

*sigh* walang Acts ata next week... hanggang mag perio?! waaaag. sad nun. dapat informal meetings sa grandstand! haha sana. kaya yun =D

-------

i realized that i'm really changing, kahit sobrang konti. i'm slowly learning how to get out of my way just to glorify His name :D

bleak gray to bright yellow

2008-11-27T20:23:00.007+08:00

i have to write an entry na. minsan lang ako maging masaya. and i have to take note of that :D

yesterday, i was really disappointed kasi hindi kami pinayagan manood ng twilight. well, we're dormers so we needed gate passes pa. tapos matagal na akong nagpplan ng dorm group date.. v.P. e haha. sobrang tanga kahapon kasi bawal kami manood dahil PG-13. gosh, i was insulted. 16-year old na pinagbawalan sa PG-13. haha. pero seryoso gusto ko talaga na may dorm thing. i wanted it to happen so muuuuuch. kaya hanggang kaninang umaga sobrang depresssssed ako >__> tapos marami pa rin gusto manood kaya pinilit talaga namin na matuloy. tae, ang drama nga e for a group date haha.

so we watched twilight sa trinoma. 13 dormers kami =) katabi ko sa seats roommates and pseudo-roommate plata. it was nice. haha i can't critique e. magbasa na lang kayo ng ibang reviews :P wala namang connection sa life ko yung story, pero it reminds me of one of my fave anime pairing haha. bastaaaaaa bastaaaaa masayaaaaa ako. haha. i really missed hanging out with other dormers. miss ko na rin second year roomies :D iba pag sila kasama mo e. masaya. i had so muuch fun =D we had vain pics >_< haha i shall steal pics from their multiply pag pinost nila.

basta. thank you maam beltran :D and tita ivy for the ride. hope my dormmates had fun :D

sorry if i can't express my happiness other than saying 'masaya ako'.

-------

oh yeah. i missed Acts. sorry. =( this is the first time i missed a fellowship for this school year. may flaw pa rin pala sa plans ko... dapat pala hindi thursday. tanga, kristina. aww. i'll have to wait for another week before the next Acts. parang ang tagal pa. grabe, i suddenly miss You. :(

much-loved rag doll

2008-11-26T19:15:00.004+08:00

nakakadisappoint. lahat.

"to live for you" is better than "to die for you"

2008-11-22T17:28:00.009+08:00

gusto ko magpost para 60 entries naaa...
stolen from joanna =D

ARE YOU:
1. Perfect: no. but He's changing me to be =D
2. Tall: at least umabot ng 5 feet :))
3. In your pajamas: nope haha.
4. Left handed: gusto ko. pero hindi haha

LAST:
1. Talked to on the phone: nico, i think.
2. Person who texted you: tatay ko haha..
4. Is today better than yesterday: yeap... everyday keeps getting better and better. happy :D

FAVORITE:
1. Number: 24
2. Color: light blue :D
3. Food: pastries and sweeeeeeeets.. xD
4. Place: basta mag-isa ako.. haha. or hindi maliwanag.

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?
A: stared at plata doing something in the dark... tapos natulog uli haha

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
A: none.. i got everything figured out.

Q: What's the last movie you watched in theaters?
A: high school musical 3 with garnet :D

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: caf haha.

Q. Do you smile a lot?
A: yeap... no, actually :P

Q: Do you wish upon stars?
A: no... but i wish upon my eyelashes =))

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: i'd like to think so haha.

Q: Where did you sleep last night?
A: dorm..

Q: Why did you sleep there?
A: because we're doing english report right now :P

Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: last night.. haha almost every night this week ata. haha

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
A: one day you'd stop talking to me. but until then, i won't. :D

Q: Rate life as of right now, one being bad ten being great?
A: 11 =D

Q: What do you hear right now?
A: Hillsongs ;)

Q: Does anything hurt right now?
A: cardiac muscles.

Q: What's your favorite month?
A: september i guess... but not really.

TEN EMOTIONS:
1. Are you missing someone right now? my little brother =(

2. Are you single? taken :D

8. Are you tired? nope. haha

9. Are your parents still married? yeap.

001. Real name? maria socorro kristina s medina

002. number? mobile number? haha

003. Eye color? very dark brown.. parang black na.

004. Zodiac sign? libra. :D

005. Male or female? biologically, female.

006. Single? kulit. taken na nga..

007. Crushing? too old for crushes. haha

009. Smart or globe? globe. :D

010. Hair color? haha black rin. dull -__-

011. Long or short? short na magulo na wavy.

013. Sweats or Jeans? jeans. haha

014. Ipod or Camera? camera.. wala akong ipod :P penge. haha

015. Health freak? kunwari... hindi pala. i can't eat veggies.

021. Righty or lefty? rightyyyy. haha. >:D< *hugging random people who reached this point*

FIRSTS:

024. First best friend? kimberly from kindergarten.. haha i remember :D but i haven't seen her for 10 years =(

025. First award? can't remember... best in conduct, most likely =)) hindi ako bully haha

026. First enemy? kuya.

027. First pet? wala... hmm meron kaming puppy dati. si odie. kaya lang lumipat kami ng bahay tapos bawal pets. aww.

028. First vacation? province siguro... beside the ocean and near a water falls :D

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating? hindi.. pero gutom na. i haven't had lunch.

050. Drinking? alcohol? yeah.

052. I'm about to? paint Japan :))

053. Listening to? one way by hillsongs

054. Plans for today? japan demography. ss optional work. haiku. be happy.

055. Waiting for? change.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER:
068. Lips or eyes? ...i get attracted to eyes.. -___- tae, naaalala ko tuloy.

070. Shorter or taller? taller.. haha almost everyone's taller than me naman :D

072. Romantic or spontaneous? i'm with joanna.. a little of both :D

074. Sensitive or loud? sensitive haha... pero marunong magsalita.

075. Hook-up or relationship? ano yung hook-up?

HAVE YOU EVER:
079. Drank bubbles? o_o naiinom yun?

080. Lost glasses/contacts? yeah.. in a hotel room.

081. Ran away from home? haha... counted ba nung nainis ako sa parents ko tapos bumalik ako ng dorm by myself na hindi nagpapaalam and earlier than usual? (--> hindi rin ako humingi ng allowance at pamasahe haha)

084. Broken someone's heart? i don't think anyone has ever looked at me that way.

085. Been arrested? nope haha.. but i wanna try. =))

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Do you like someone? yeap... i like a lot of people. :D

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? very much so.

098. How's your HEART lately? the one i recently found? well, for starters, there's a dagger currently pointed at it.

100. Post as 100 truths? nah.

=D

2008-11-22T15:52:00.003+08:00

haha gumagawa kami ngayon ng english report on japan's demography sa pisay =D actually, tatlo lang kaming gumawa kasi tinamad si lyndon (ata) tapos may sakit pa si mikhail :( kanina pa kaming 10am dito haha. pero mga 11 na siguro kami nagstart. si riscia nagdrawing nung map kasi umalis kagad siya ng mga 12:30. kaming dalawa na lang ni ralph naiwan since then.

ngayon, tapos na lahat ng research blah. iccontinue ko yung map mamaya. haha nandito pa si ralph :D binabackstab namin ngayon si pechay haha. ang saya. haha. corny nga lang kasi dapat nasa UP theatre ako ngayon para sa anniv ng isang church >__< haha. owel. basta. nagbabasa lang kami ngayon ng stuffs. =D =D double smiley.

i welcome the pain

2008-11-22T13:21:00.008+08:00

itai... itai... itai... itai...
dammit. it hurts. but i have to stop being selfish. so i'll have to take everything by myself. the pain is just there to measure how much i'm loved. and so are the trials and all shit that come my way.. :( =D

i can't blame other people if i'm not happy. i don't like myself to be happy because of someone else's misfortune. and just because i'm not all smileys, doesn't mean i should pull other people down my level.

i can't be selfish!

p.s. it's so hard when you know EVERYTHING going around you. but you have to act ignorant about it >____<

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weaknesses." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

looking up

2008-11-20T20:05:00.005+08:00

matinong post 'to :P

Acts fellowship today didn't go as planned. our speakers weren't able to come, then we had to change the whole programme. sobrang impromptu ata nung sharing na ginawa ni sir vlad pero prepared naman yung praise and worship :) i failed at being an emcee haha. half of the time iniwan ko si kuya robert na nagsasalita xP owel, there's always a next time.

dun sa sharing part, we were divided into small groups. kasama ko si john-john and kuya robert, tapos bagong kong nakilala si kuya jasper and abby ('12). got to know them in around 5 minutes. tapos 10 minutes to answer the question WHAT BRINGS A SMILE TO YOUR FACE :)? then another 10 min, WHAT BRINGS A TEAR TO YOUR EYES? i answered very honestly and it felt good to share my experiences to them. even if we just met, it's so easy to share when you know that their your brothers in Christ :)

mymy did a song number :D ganda ng tagalog song for a change. then, another sharing about your experience when you CRIED FOR JOY. i shared my most recent experience just a few weeks ago, which i'd like to call ORDINARY MIRACLE. i was saving this story for ate jaja and kuya ivan in one of our Bible studies. isang month na atang walang BS :( i miss wednesdays with them na. still, i was so happy to share this to my small group :D

Acts was all i needed to complete my day :D

FRIEND OF GOD
Who am I that You are mindful of me
That You hear me when I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me it's amazing

(Chorus)
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

God Almighty, Lord of Glory
You have called me friend

(Repeat Chorus)

He calls me friend...
He calls me friend...

<3

2008-11-19T21:30:00.004+08:00

i just realized

that the only songs i know

are of LOVE :D

even if my world falls, i will sing

2008-11-17T23:24:00.007+08:00

pag pinapaulit-ulit kong basahin at isipin
para na rin akong naglalaslas. maybe worse.
haha. nevermind. metaphor.metaphor.
hindi kasi ako damsel in distress =))
doesn't go with me, i guess.
owel. haha. ang labo na. physics.physics.
yakk. ang emo na. bastos.
dapat talaga hindi ako naiiwan na mag-isa.
haha. wala kasing kumakausap sa 'kin. joke :P
ang labo ng situation na 'to...
oo na hindi. masaya na... hindi. haha.
:DDDDDD
o. maraming smileys :D

~edit @ 11.18.08, 20:46 hours~

Here I am to worship

Light of the world
You stepped down into darkness
Open my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with you

Chorus:
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're all together lovely
All together worthy
All together wonderful to me

King of all days Oh so highly exaleted
Glorious in heavens above
Humbly You came to the earth You've created
All for love's sake became poor
(Chorus)

I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon the cross

if life is "just a moment"...

2008-11-17T22:03:00.003+08:00

every time something terrible happens (at least when i want to curse), i always feel like blogging, though my posts don't show much. when i think about it now, maybe i do have this teeny weeny desire inside to share my life's mishaps, at least to something. but doing so isn't really one of my hobbies and proves to be really hard. =( so here i am again. no one would know... palagi naman e. who am i kidding. i'd have to keep everything inside me muna. maybe, i'll burst one day. i'm just hoping you'd be there so you'd know... :P hmm, ~~someone~~ something to vent all my frustrations on... i guess, for now, my physics book would do.

O_X

2008-11-15T14:30:00.002+08:00

read.read.read. not school-related :P prince of tennis, once again :D original reads.sibling uhh. procrastinating. but still.. haha. bagal ng net. can't YM. owel. read.read.read. and refraining from... yeah. :))

oh, ngayon ko lang nalaman ibig sabihin ng 'daisuki'... O_o

smiles.smiles.smiles. gusto nang pumasok. :) happy and NOT emo.

What's meant to be will always find a way to be

2008-11-13T23:02:00.003+08:00

i read this line in a fanfic. i resorted to reading since i feel really bad :( and with no one to talk to. i'm not sick, though. i'd kill to have a read of something parallel to my situation. then i'd have an alternate solution to all of this. then again, who would be in the same predicament as complicated as mine?

WHAT'S MEANT TO BE WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO BE.
:)

this makes me feel better. so, i shall not think of anything that-related. so many other more important things than this. and i refuse to be selfish. :D

unfair

2008-11-13T20:35:00.005+08:00

you know my side all along.
nasabi ko naman e.
it'd be childish to say 'i told you so'.
pero i did warn you.
oo na.
masama akong tao.
hn, lagi naman e.
as if hindi nila sinasabi yun.
pero seryoso ako,
i don't let other people make me miserable
that i can do on my own.
kasi alam ko rin naman,
na i don't deserve to be happy.
there.

i won't give up.
if that's what you want.
pero i'll do things my way.
i'll take that promise.
just keep your end of the bargain.

p.s. hindi para sayo 'to.

emo-ness

2008-11-13T14:04:00.006+08:00

dahil sa blog-hopping ko... ugh, tae stalker naman talaga. hay. basta. sobrang clear na. ayun. siya pa rin :/ basta. iba na lang haha. dami na ngang nagsasabi. kung ituloy ko pa, tawagin mo na akong tanga.

----

i wrote these lines in my 'diary' (--> which is just the notepad in my phone)

nov 12:
"There's not enough candy in the world to take away the bitterness that i'm destined to carry for the rest of my life." (sa isang cartoon =D)

nov 11:
i'm incapable of having fun and being happy.
it is easy to be miserable. but i won't let other people do it for me.
the satisfaction of making my life tragic goes only to me.

nov 9:
Hindi ko hahayaang maging masaya ako kung may ibang taong malungkot dahil sa nagawa/ginagawa/gagawin ko.

i feel emo na :( haha joke lang. masaya pa rin ako. =D

>_<

2008-11-10T23:31:00.004+08:00

really glad that we only have 2days of classes this week.. kung 'di, sobra. hindi ko kaya haha. maddepress lang ako. mali na lahat ng iniisip ko. haha. i need time at home to recoup. pag nasa bahay kasi bumabalik lahat ng rationality ko. haha. then, i'm able to judge things in a more logical manner. tapos nalalay out ko yung plans ko. hay. really have a lot of work to do. i still have half of my wall to reconstruct. and when i get back... you might not recognize me =(

aww. i wanted you to say good night to me more than ever. tapos iba pa nag'gnyt'. owel.

i give up

2008-11-09T17:25:00.012+08:00

Haha. masaya na ako. sabi ni riscia e.

edited at 7:35 pm :)

Yay. masaya na ako =) but i still give up. haha

edit edit @ 11.13.08

i'm being stupid for you

2008-11-08T20:27:00.004+08:00

grabe. i feel like a scratch paper doodled on with love confessions during bio period when your teacher is someone like ma'am docto whose voice doesn't as much grab your attention for a whole five minutes. and not even a journal! an almost dirty yellow scratch paper sticking out of a notebook torn when you needed to draw the skeleton of some hydrocarbon in chem earlier, pero right at the moment it would do with hearts and a dozen writings of his/her name written in different fonts. tapos when the bell rings you stick back the scratch paper in between the pages of your bio notebook, ready for the next bio lecture when you'd rather think of him/her than to understand osmoregulation crap. that's exactly what i feel. except that this scratch paper does you favors and she's smart.

owell. of course i know what i'm doing. but it still feels stupid when s/he thinks i couldn't care less.. when i know i shouldn't but i do. :O ewan. haha. ang tanga lang pag after magdoodle tinatapon na yung papel. yun ginagawa ko e. pag bio tapos nakakailang ambigram na ako ng *ahem*. tinatapon ko na tapos nakita pa nina rocelle :))

basta yun. fine, in a way i asked for it. pero sana...ewan. tae, masyado akong hopeful. kristina, much better to jump in a pit na lang. :P

like change in a pocket :D

2008-11-08T14:11:00.005+08:00

survey. stolened from joannabowana. dunwanna blog bout this upsetting day. so i shall answer this para may mapost. :D

So what do you want for your birthday?
--hugs. maraming hugs. >:D<

At what age do you want to be married?
--16. ay. haha joke. never :P

Do you secretly like someone?
--yesh. hmm, pero baka alam din niya O:

Where did you kiss the last person you kissed?
--cheek. hehe:)

Do you trust people?
--nope. mahirap na e. siguro siya. pero hindi niya alam. :))

What’s your favorite color to wear?
--light blue.. favorite color ko e..

What’s something that someone can do that really bothers you?
--marami e.. :(

Do you make a wish at 11: 11?
--yeap. got it from diane. :D

What' s one thing that would instantly make you dislike the opposite sex?
--pag mayabang.. attention-seeker. hindi bagay sa guys e.

Is eye contact awkward?
--nope. haha. saya tumingin sa eyes, daming emotions kahit tumingin ka lang for a fraction of a second.

Have you ever been called a flirt?
--indirect, yes. from the most unexpected person :(

Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?
--gaby. pero nung thursday pa yun haha.

When was the last time you smiled?
--parang sobrang tagal na.. can't remember :(

Who was the first person you talked to today?
--mom. "yung card ko...?". kinalimutan kasi nila. how...unsurprising.

What are you not looking forward to?
--bio longtest sa tuesday..eek. i have to study pa.

Are you a forgiving person?
--i guess so.. depende naman e.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
--you mean how early? 8:30 pm. :)) tae, inantok na ako e.. gusto ko pa naman ng goodnight :P haha

Do you still talk to the person you were dating 9 months ago?
--hindi ko na maalala yung name nung guy... O:

What will you do saturday?
--today? stalk people's blogs.. study. read. talk to you when i get the chance xP

What are you doing this coming weekend?
--procrastinate, most likely. i'd like to finish Memoirs of a Geisha na. tapos gonna eat a lot. haha.

How is life going for you right now?
--i think life's past time is to make fun of me.. life so has a bad sense of humor.

Is there any meaning behind your profile song?
--what profile song

Do you like hugs or do you freak when people hug you?
--i like being hugged by people i know AND like.

What color are your eyes?
--very dark brown, they almost look black.

Do you smile a lot?
--nope. pag nakikita ko lang siya. ata. :))

What are your plans for your next birthday?
--don't celebrate bdays e. against my religion.. (not really.)

Do you know any songs that remind you of summer?
--nope. not a music person e. unless...

What were you doing at 7:00 AM?
--uhh.. haha tulog pa :P

Where is the last place you went?
--pisay.. dumeretso uwi na ako kahapon e.

Ever get a bloody nose?
--when i was a kid. sinuntok ata ako ni kuya? :))

Would you moon an old man for $50?
--no. O_O

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
--i don't think so. i think before i act. :P

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
--si plata? nooo. <3>:D<

How did you and your number 1 become friends?
--di ko gets. anong number one? o_o

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
--nope. pag nakausap ko na. :D

Did you speak to your mother today ?
--yeap. she's here sa bahay.

What did you do today ?
--nagising. chineck yung watch. 2:30am. nagugutom ako. tapos bumalik sa tulog. nagising uli ng 8:30am tapos nagalit sa parents (nakalimutan nilang kuhanin card ko. owell.) tapos nagbreakfast/dinner. tapos nood t.v. charlotte's web ngayon ko lang napanood. tapos uhh nagttype ng thingy. tapos blog. tapos stalk people. haha

Do you have plans for tomorrow?
--church. mall with sister siguro.

What shirt are you wearing?
--gray na meron 'hard rock cafe'

Sleep on your back or stomach?
--either. :D

Who was the last person who held your hand?
--no one holds my hands. :(

Have you ever kissed someone with braces?
--never tried. hmm...

Is the last person you kissed probably also the next?
--pwede. kapatid ko naman e. sa cheeks nga lang.

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
--yes :D

How old will you be in 2010?
--katamad magbilang. 16 ;)

Are you a jealous person?
--ata. haha. try mo.

Are you sarcastic?
--of course not. :>

How did you get your last bruise?
--it magically appeared...

Do you have a best friend?
--no.

Do you have any siblings?
--yeap. two older, two younger. two girls, two boys...:D happy

What are you doing tonight?
--mag-aaral ako ng bio. haha naks naman.

Have you ever made anyone laugh when they were crying?
--i make them cry even more. :

Are people annoying?
--most of the time.

Who was the last person you were under a blanket with?
--last? uhm, don't remember e haha.

Do you crack your knuckles?
--di ko kaya.. waah, Anton! wala lang. kaya niyang itotally bend yung fingers niya o_O

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
--haha ngayon lang. hmm...

Has anyone told you they missed you lately?
--my mom.. and that other person.

Is anyone on your bad side right now?
--yes :(

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night ?
--nagtype.. tapos inantok na. -_____-

Have you ever made a difference in someone's life?
--tell me. :)

retreat group pic

2008-11-01T21:31:00.008+08:00

CLICK TO ENLARGE
got this from kuya jao :)

non-catholics, evangelicals.. (a.k.a. The Others. xD) Angels' Hills, october something.

group pic 'to nung retreat. kinuha ni ma'am annelle nung umakyat siya dun sa water tank. i never wrote anything about the retreat but it was, for me, how i wanted it to be (at least, the way everything worked for the real purpose). i wanted to share my experience to people, pero i wanted to make kwento sa personal. still, the retreat has to be a milestone for me :D tapos, may bagong special friend dahil dun. i hope i get to know you better this school year. kilala mo na kung sino ka :D

proud that i don't like you (anymore)

2008-11-01T15:35:00.006+08:00

i only need 55 seconds to brainwash myself into unliking you.. so technically, you don't exist na. so sorry. tae, kaya pala wala akong lovelife :)) owel. nakakatamad maghanap ng deserving person. dapat siya ang maghanap sa 'kin. i still haven't found yung person na gusto ko na may ganung quality. kung ano yung required, yun pa talaga yung wala sila. aww. haha ang arte ko. anyway, 55 seconds lang kelangan ko para mawala ka sa isip ko :P

favoritism kasi e :)

2008-10-30T19:37:00.004+08:00

grabe. sobrang sama ng start ng araw na 'to. hindi ko napaphotocopy yung worksheet sa math. hindi dahil nakalimutan ko, hindi ko lang talaga alam. siguro hindi ako nakikinig nung sinabi ni maam. basta. grah. seatwork kasi namin kanina tapos i had to write the questions sa board. tinulungan ako ni nico, thank you :) i felt awful kasi kinopya pa rin ng classmates ko yung each question. sana kung napaphotocopy ko, nasagutan kaagad nila. ang tanga pa kasi gamit ko yung mga tira-tirang chalk dun. tapos habang nagsusulat sa board at nagsasagot yung mga classmates, background pa yung boses ni ma'am de joya "ba't hindi niyo kasi pinaxerox? sinabihan ko na kayo. blahblahblah". tae, sobrang sama ng loob ko. sa sarili ko. ewan ko. tanga ko lang talaga minsan. kung narinig ko man na sinabi ni maam, hindi nagregister sa utak ko. =(

naiiyak na ako kanina, hindi na lang ako nagsalita. oo na, ang babaw na para sayo. basta. pinaka ayoko sa lahat yung nagiging pabigat ako sa ibang tao. tapos ngayon buong class pa yung nagsuffer sa katangahan ko. yun nga yung iniiwasan ko. ayokong problemahin ako ng ibang tao. o magkaproblema sila dahil sa 'kin. buong morning period feeling ko tuloy may sakit ako. basta, ang sama ng loob ko.

nagquit na kami sa paskorus. hindi ko alam. pinapili kung sino pa may gusto. ayaw ko na ng intellectual choice. hindi ako nagtaas ng kamay. nakakatawa lang na isipin na minsan inooppose ko yung mga sarili kong gusto. i don't know what i'm trying to prove.

syempre, hindi pwedeng madepress ng isang buong araw. kahit pinapaiyak ako nung mga praise and worship songs, i really feel good after. masaya pa rin sa end ng day, Acts kasi e. =) thank you, Lord. tell me what you think with what i told you kanina... help me get ready.

magulo ang buhay

2008-10-29T21:01:00.007+08:00

health sa gym. nag-usap about alcohol. tapos str. walang phys, fil, and foodsci. tapos walang ginawa nung break. weeee. i din't sleep, nakakatamad. tapos compsci. diane's my new partner. yay:) tapos walang PE. ate junk food :( tapos break, practice ng paskorus. i can't sing. exercise in chem. 10-(3,3-dimethylbutyl)-10-isobutyl-8-(2-methylpentan-2-yl)-4-propyltetradeca-1,11,12-triene tapos nagpractice uli ng songs for Acts:) then dinner, oval. if i say i wasn't caught off guard, i'd be lying. then, again, i'm good at that.

i was twice as happy yesterday than the other day. two good things happened. i'm not so sure if i deserved them xD kahit sobrang walang kwenta nung buong araw ko kahapon, pagkatapos ng chem...poof! haha bigla yung ngiti ko abot tenga. haha kinilig naman. friend lang po. still, the fact na friend ko na nga...:) hay. then, masaya nung nagpractice ng songs for Acts. masaya kumanta for him with your friends.

yay. pumasok na si mymy :)

math6 ka dba?

2008-10-28T11:21:00.006+08:00

may nagtanong na naman sken kung math6 ako. hay. kung marunong lang akong madepress, siguro depressed na ako ngayon. owel. dahil walang foodsci at bored ako rito sa dorm... at may elective pa siya. ata. may nahanap akong survey from lea. xD parang nasagutan ko na 'to dati. can't remember.

[One] from whom was your last text from?
--ivana richelle m boto

[Two] Where was your primary picture taken at?
--wala haha.

[Three] What's your middle initial?
--S... for stupid.

[Four] Your current relationship status?
--It's complicated :>

[Five] Does your crush(s) like you back?
-- syempre. haha. joke. asa naman. wala akong crush xP

[Six] What is your current mood?
--gutom. inaantok. mood ba yon? naiinis sayo :P

[Seven] What's your moms name?
--Aida. importante ba 'to?

[Eight] What color shirt are you wearing?
--dirty white na cream na ewan. uniform :))

[Nine] What was the last thing you drank ?
--wateeeeer. yea

[Ten] If you could go back in time and change something, would you?
--nah. baka maalter pa yung mga magagandang nangyari. =)

[Eleven] Have a crazy side?
--nope. i am a very matinong tao.

[Twelve] Favorite song?
--a lot. but i don't sing. :P

[Thirteen] Something you do a lot?
--eat. eat. think of you. eat. eat. breathe na rin.

[Fifteen] Do you wanna date somebody?
--not really. gastos pa e. mabuti sana kung nanlilibre ~~siya~~ mga guys..

[Sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
--eugene paolo gabo. :D

[Seventeen] When was the last time you cried?
--sunday ata. pero parang umiyak din ako nung monday?

[Eighteen] Who would you do anything for?
--God.

[Nineteen] Who is your idol?
--myself? haha joke. syempre, siya pa rin :D

[Twenty] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
--eyes. actually, hindi ako observant, but if i like someone, it has to be because of the eyes :))

[Twenty-two] What's your biggest secret?
--ampon lang ako. teka, di naman secret yun a

[Twenty-three] Where is your ex?
--six feet under ground.

[Twenty-four] Favorite movie?
--wala.

[Twenty-five] Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
--tv shows sometimes. sumasama ako sa mga kapatid ko haha

[Twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
--chicken burger. not really healthy :p

[Twenty-seven] Do you speak any other language?Aside from english and tagalog?
--i don't remember doing so.

[Twenty-eight] Describe your life one word, what would it be?
--complete.

[Thirty-three] What should you be doing?
--devising a plan on how to get you to notice me. yakk. joke lang.

[Thirty-eight] Do you act differently around the person you like?
--can't tell. i'm never around him :( iniiwasan ko? iniiwasan ako?

[Thirty-nine] What is your natural hair color?
--bwaack.

[Forty] Who was the last person who made you smile?
--you.

may nang-aaway saken

2008-10-27T20:10:00.004+08:00

kumain ako ng gulay for dinner. kangkong daw tawag dun. malay ko ba. yung resolution ko kasi na kakain na ako ng healthy stuffs. ang lakas ng loob kong sabihin yun palibhasa matagal na akong hindi naggugulay. kanina ko lang naalala na kaya hindi ako kumakain, kasi ayaw ko talaga ng icky feeling sa tongue ng gulay, at least sa case nung 'kangkong'. pero yung iba siguro dahil din sa taste. basta. feeling ko tuloy failure 'tong healthy diet ko. dapat kasi kakain ako ng meals. tapos pag dinner walang meat. XD ang lakas kong mag-imbento ng mga walang kwentang gawin. ehh. basta. gusto ko lang disiplinahin sarili ko. hay.

great great great day

2008-10-27T18:59:00.006+08:00

i like this day. i like all days actually. ever since i was able to change my self--correction, God changed me-- i see things in a different light. i'm more optimistic on what will happen each day, though you still might catch a glimpse of my sarcasm. i can't believe i'm noticing such big changes, even in just the way i think, in such a short time. some old habits, which i lost during my decline, also resurfaced. habits like singing songs of praises in the shower... and now i'm able to find time (so much time) to constantly talk to him. i bet if he easily gets mad, i'm sure he'd say how sick he is of me calling his name. but, of course, he isn't. :D

at the end of this day, i felt a sense of achievement--contentment, even-- when i gave this person a palanca. i'm sure he didn't expect it. really happy that i was able to express myself in that short letter. tapos, i wasn't even sure if he read it... D: ugh, i'm hoping he's curious enough to know what i've written. he should be. i really wanna make it up to him since palagi ko siyang kinukulit. he got irritated with me, i think.

first Acts meeting of batch2010 turned out to be reproductive. and fun. we're so reaaady to lead the fellowship this thursday. not really. pero masaya since everyone's got something to do and it's not just me or gideon or jil. i kind of wished tuloy na tj, josh, mymy, johnjohn, mirko, etc. attended Acts even before. it would've been extra fun na maraming batch mates... i'll invite more pa. guys punta kayo:)

basta. masaya ako araw-araw haha

You're my reason

2008-10-26T22:51:00.003+08:00

With All I AM
In to Your hands I commit again
All i am for You Lord
You hold my world in the palm of Your hands
And i am Yours forever

Jesus I believe in You
Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that i live
You're the reason that I sing
With all i am

I'll walk with You wherever You go
Through tears and Joys
I'll trust in You
And i will live in all of Your ways
Your promises
Forever

I'm forever yours, Lord God. All that I am and all that I have, I offer to you. All of the thoughts in my mind, all of the cries in my heart, all of the unshed tears, God, to You, i lay down. Kill me, Father, if You have to. Because I know that You have promised to hand me over a new self, and Your own will shall become mine. All of my problems I give only to You. Help me Lord that everything i say, do and think, be for Your greater glory and for Your kingdom. Use me, Lord God. I love You.

stolen from agnes

2008-10-25T15:47:00.006+08:00

TEN WHAT QUESTIONS:

1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? yung phone ko na hiniram ni kuya:)) baka binabasa na messages ko haha

2. What did you do last night? watched HSM3 with ate. kumain. tapos nagtext sa mga tao.

3. What is the most important part of your life?
4. What would you rather be doing right now? talking to you:>
5. What did you last cry over? nung maraming umattend ng Acts.. seriously=)
6. what always makes you feel better? hearing Him:D
7. What are your plans tomorrow? church. then trinoma. tapos dorm. laps sa oval, maybe.
8. What’s the most important thing(s) you look for in a significant other? fear in God. ;)
9. What are you worried about? nothing.
10. What are you looking forward to most in this week? uhm.. Acts this thursday. magllead kami :D
NINE HAVE YOU EVERS:
1. Have you ever liked someone with a girlfriend/boyfriend ? nope. promise:D hanggang 'had a girlfiend' lang
2. Have you ever had your heart broken? never. i gave it already to someone who promised to take care of it.
3. Have you ever had sex in a public place? no.
4.Have you ever been out of the country? yeap. math contests :
6. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? lahat naman ata. not sure though. wala pang umaabot sken so far.
7. Have you ever had the cops called on you? nah.
8. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? i don't do dates e.. :))

9. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? yeap. i just don't remember titles. haha
EIGHT WHOS:
1. Who was the last person you saw? sister.
2. Who was the last person you kissed? denjo. this morning. =D
3. Who was the last person you called? mom. asking her to buy stuffs for me. haha ansama.
4. Who was the last person who called you? siya rin haha
5. Who was your first crush? rj something. classmate ko nung kinder :>
6. Who was the last person who texted you? pate. thanking me for greeting her.
7.Who is the last person you texted? kuya. to return my phone. haha
8. Who did you last yell at? um. denjo ata. ayaw kasi kumain ng maayos.
SEVEN WHENS:
1. When was your last shower? this morning.
2. When did you last see your mom? after lunch. tapos umalis na siya.
3. When was your last kiss? kay denjo nga.
4. When did you last dress up? panong dress up?
5. When was the last time you cried? thursday haha. tapos muntik na akong mahli ni yanyan at eechai. haha
6. When did you last go to the movies? last night. haha should've watch some horror flick na lang.
SIX WHERES:
1. Where do your best friend(s) live? i don't have any.
2. Where did you last go? uhh trinoma?
3. Where did you last hang out? there. with oneesan.
4. Where do you go to school? pisay.
5. Where is your favorite place to be? pisay. syempre. *hindi kanerdohan.nandun siya e haha*
6. Where did you sleep last night? bahay.
FIVE DOS/DOES:
1. Do you like someone right now? yeap. like lang naman e :> not gonna lie to myself. haha
2. Does he/she like you too? asa.
3. Do you ever wish you were someone else? nah. i might miss being me.
4. Do you know the muffin man? hindi:/
5. Does the future scare you? not really.
FOUR WHYS:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? n/a haha

2 . Why did you get a Friendster? kasi para raw iadd ko ate ko. haha
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? para mahirapan akong magsulat pag laki ko.
4.Why are you doing this survey? bored. bored. bored. at wala siya. haha
THREE IFS:
1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? mind reading.
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? nope.
3. If you were stranded on a desert island and could bring one thing what would it be? uhh. pagkain. maraming pagkain. haha
ONE LAST QUESTION…
Are you happy with your life right now? very much so.

i am not my own boss

2008-10-25T15:04:00.005+08:00

hay. i hate it when i act on impulse. i used to always think first before i say or do something. but now.. :/ i guess that's part of the keys i surrendered to God already. but still... when i think about the consequences... i thought i was finished digging my own grave. but i'm still digging deeper. in any case, i'll have to face my own problems. even if it means having to bury myself six feet under.

seriously, kristina, you should stop thinking for yourself. stop being self-centered. you should set aside your personal desires and do your work. he hired you, remember? for someone who still has a lot to do, you sure are laid back. you're doing things because you know what it's for. you're working for him. even if the pay isn't good, the retirement fee is out of this world. remember that.

oh, and happy birthday, pate. :D

a few plans

2008-10-24T12:13:00.005+08:00

wow. we have 3 hours and 30 minutes of lunch break today. i'm helping distribute love letters from Acts to my batchmates. i've just finished lunch and, then, i'll continue :D

i'm still happeeee. and i will probably be for the rest of the week. gosh, i just realized how i'm eating too much junk and fastfoods... i can really feel myself getting heavier, maybe fatter, but in the wrong way. i wanted to gain weight since i'm under normal. i have this goal to reach 100lbs by christmas vacation. i really want to convince my mom to let me donate blood to red cross, or somewhere. i dunno. i've been planning on it ever since last year. then i found out that my weight has to be normal first, before i can donate and i should be generally healthy. i think i am healthy, just underweight. and fat all at the wrong places :p

basta, i'm going to gain weight the right way. not through junk and fast foods. i'll start this weekend. i also want to learn how to eat veggies. i know, i should eat breakfast every morning na rin. i've to take care of this body God gave me =) oh, maybe i can have my 3-day fruit fast on nov 12-14. i don't think we have classes then, right? but that depends if my mom will allow me. she hates the idea of my not eating properly.

it's not diet. i don't wanna lose weight. i want to gain weight. the right way, that is.

... i can't believe i talked about that. haha i just finished lunch kasi, and it's burger steak :p oh, and i don't exercise na -___- should really burn fats haha. i'm going to continue distributing love letters. next class is comp.sci. at 1:40 pm.

life spent with you

2008-10-23T20:56:00.005+08:00

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."

1 Timothy 4:12

i remember ate dastynne sharing this verse to me in one of the Acts fellowships. before, i did not considered this as one of my tasks. but now, i really want to live out this verse=)

Sobrang saya ko kanina sa Acts. pag tingin ko pa lang sa mga tao... grabe. i counted 18 heads na batch2010 kanina. first time, i think, sa history ng Acts, and i just felt so happy. nakakatuwang makita na umattend yung mga batchmates ko na ilang beses ko nang kinukulit na pumunta sa Acts. matagal na talaga akong nag-iinvite, tapos nadiscover ko na hindi talaga ako convincing. pano ba naman, tuwing wed mga 15 na tao sasabihan ko, lahat sila "oo" lang, yung iba may excuse. tapos pagdating ng thu, tatlo lang makikita ko dun. =(

mga last month ata. nadiscourage akong mag-invite na sa Acts. parang naisip ko kasi na kaya naman talaga pumupunta sa school yung mga tao para mag-aaral o magbarkada. tapos out of place lang yung Acts every thursday 4:30 pm. parang hindi yun something na ilalagay talaga nila sa sched nila, unless kagaya ko na nafefeel yung need magActs. dahil maraming times within the week na nagsstray ako sa tamang path... tapos masaya ako pag umaattend. i'm always reminded of His love, and yung purpose.

ang saya kanina nung makita ko na pumunta nga sila. thank you, Lord! thank you for touching their hearts and reminding them. sana hindi lang 'to effect ng retreat at spiritual high pa sila. sana magtuloy-tuloy. Lord, alam ko na promise mo na yun saken. and you even said that number of batch2010 joining acts will multiply! and, of course, this is all for Your glory! sorry, kung nagdoubt man ako. i should've known everything will work out. and everything will happen in Your time.

i'm genuinely happy today. tapos maglelead pa kami ng fellowship next week. we even have a worship team na! (syempre, walang ganun nung kaming tatlo lang nina jil at gideon). i'm really truly happy. ilang beses ko na bang nasabi yun? haha. sa mga taong umattend, you probably don't know how much you guys made me happy. what more kay God? i felt blessed to see you guys. i'm really praying for those people who don't have the time to join Acts. i hope we can worship and glorify God together.

i'm really happy to serve you, Lord! i love you so much=)

best white icing ever

2008-10-23T06:10:00.005+08:00

haha kahit kelangan ko pang magcram ng food sci hw at phys activity output, magbblog muna ako. haha i just felt the need to write a post. required kasi ni sir binx na five posts every 15 days. pero sa totoo lang kahapon lang niya sinabi :p

anyway, nagssearch ako ng icing recipes and types of icing xD foodsci homework e. wanna make a cake for you. haha next time paalala mo. gusto ko magbloooog tungkol sa retreat kaya lang walang time. haha. nagstalk kasi ako ng person nung isang gabi. ugh. tapos masaya ako ngayooon. haha.

attend kayo ng Acts mamaya. grandstaaand. 16:30 hours. >:D<

an interesting conversation

2008-10-20T23:16:00.009+08:00

got this from a forwarded mail. posting because i have FAITH.

INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY.

He asks one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.

But GOD didn't.

How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

( Student is silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ?

Let's start again, Young Fella.

Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right.

Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ?

And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student does not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?

All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?

( Student has no answer )

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.

Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist.

What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No sir. There isn't.

( The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,

a Little Heat or No Heat.

But we don't have anything called Cold.

We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.

There is no such thing as Cold.

Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.

We cannot Measure Cold.

Heat is Energy.

Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

( There is Pin - Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir.

Darkness is the Absence of Something…

You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .

But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it?

In reality, Darkness isn't.

If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.

You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.

You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.

It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that

Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.

Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

( The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument is going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and

Cannot even prove that this Process is an On - Going Endeavor,

Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?

Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

( The Class is in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?

( The Class breaks out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .

No one appears to have done so.

So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that

You have No Brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room is Silent. The Professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . .

The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.

That is all that Keeps Things Moving & Alive.

It turned out later that the student is Albert Einstein.

sad

2008-10-10T01:15:00.010+08:00

it's sad how you have this one thing in your life that makes everything so perfect, anyone could have it, yet it's only you who realizes what it is.

it makes me sad when i see people around me and they think that everything is going against them, when really it's just them going against the world.

it's sad how i want so much to give them everything, but i won't because i can't. because i'm afraid, even though i know i'm not supposed to.

it's sad when i see people in front of me break down over problems which i cannot help but think so little of. little things affect them so much.

it's sad how everyone's aim in their lives it to keep personal happiness.
it's sad because i want to reach out... yet, i am not doing so at the moment.

why not worry

2008-10-04T15:06:00.012+08:00

Matthew 6:25-34
²⁵ "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?²⁸ "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

i remember the first time i came across this whole passage when i was in fourth grade. i was in a math team competition, and everything was getting on my nerves. i was nervous about the whole thing, actually. i just got this notion that everyone was expecting so much from me and i'm about to disappoint them. it was before the competition started when i wandered away from my teammates to have some time to pray by myself. i happen to bring that little book "The Wisdom of Jesus", my father gave me for my 11th birthday. i randomly opened the book and i read this passage from the gospel of Matthew.

gosh, i don't how to describe how i felt right after the last period. all my worries were swept away immediately. i was smiling. someone was holding my hand...i almost cried. His presence was then with me the whole time.

seriously, guys, God works on everyone... walang age requirement. kahit gaano pa sa tingin mo na bata ka pa. natutuwa lang ako pag may little things na sobrang inaalala ko, tapos maaalala ko na lang na hindi dapat magworry... He's there naman palagi e;)

and this is why i shan't worry no more about family, grades, friends, (lack of) crushes, and everything in between. me shall concentrate more on my purpose. yea, that one. sabi nga ni maam, we have to work double time :D

:(

2008-09-30T21:57:00.005+08:00

you reminded me of how insignificant i really am.

nagkafire sa pisay :o

2008-09-30T20:05:00.008+08:00

nagising ako kaninang 1am tapos may sunog sa shb. muntik na akong magpanic. pero medyo naisip ko na maliit na sunog lang. tapos ang cute nung lights ng fire trucks. yun lang nakita ko. kala ko okay na after nun. kaya nagvocab na lang ako sa english. tapos dapat magbabasa ako ng chem book. naks. dapat. kasi nakatulog ako kagad. haha.

5am na ako nagising. tapos wala na raw classes aaww.. tapos later wala na raw classes for the rest of the week. wth. gusto ko may pasok, kahit walang classes. haha ang labo. basta. gusto ko makita classmates and friends e.

ang boring sa bahay. for sure mag-isa lang ako dun. iiwan lang ako ni kuya :(

oh. may naiisip ako.. puntahan ko na lang old classmates and friends haha tama tama.. sa thursday para masaya.. tagal ko na silang di nakikita. kaya lang tinatamad akong icontact sila. aww. gusto ko rin makita yung mga grade school teachers ko.. lalo na mga math teachers ko haha. buti na lang marunong na akong magcommute.. pwede nang lumayas sa bahay haha..

i'm bored.
i'm just saying i'm bored to justify what i'm doing.
owel.

i <3 bio

2008-09-26T13:28:00.005+08:00

I HEART BIO.
grabe. ansaya ng longtest. epic fail.

tbc^_________^

bday ko

2008-09-24T14:59:00.005+08:00

birthday ko so i'll post. i'm cramming str right now. so i'm wondering why the heck am i doing this... oh yea, bday ko. -__-
normal day. masaya. blah. nakakainis comsci :p
basta. ugh. the only thing i expected today is for it to rain. and it did. and i'm hoping it will rain again later. it never fails me.
pero. yea. haha. ewan.

oh

2008-09-19T18:17:00.007+08:00

i was so sure walang nagbabasa nito. ewan. basta, weird. minsan hindi ko na iniisip kung anong nilalagay ko. tapos parang uhh dami ko atang nasulat na ewan.
hmm.
crap. i just thought of something. :/

i want to die.
fine, that's too strong. at least get sick or something. i never get sick. ugh. just one day? please?

ouch

2008-09-18T19:26:00.006+08:00

:D masaya. tagal naming nag-usap ni ada about stuff. tapos may nakita akong tao :D
tapos yeah. tapos aww. naalala ko lang yung problem ni diane. aw sad. :(

priorities

2008-09-17T19:45:00.011+08:00

i got tempted, once again, to skip Bible Study today. God won over the 15-second inner battle and i went to BS right after chem. i felt bad the whole day kasi. and the old kristina resurfaced and told me to skip BS and avoid other human interactions.

every after such meeting, i always feel lighter and more carefree than the rest of the day. my mind was so clear that i was able to analyze my present dilemma regarding this person. a short quiet time to think.. even when we were strolling 'round the oval, i was still very much preoccupied by it.

i thought of something.

we have so manyyyyy requirements for tomorrow. my earlier thoughts about the BS and the thing dissipated as soon as i realized that we still have physics lab report to finish. then i realized how much time school work takes. time that should've been for solace and reflection and...well for Him. that was my case for the last two years. especially during first year when i never joined BS and wasn't much active in acts because of mtp.

basta, mapapansin na palagi na lang inuuna ang school stuffs kesa kay God. gumagawa ng homeworks kesa umattend ng acts. practices muna bago magBS. tapos magbabasa muna ng mga required books sa english kesa bible. natutulog nang late dahil sa pagkacram, hindi man lang nakakapagpray. tapos minsan inuuna ang passtroll sa oval with friends kesa magquiet time.

i realized how wrong these are. my top priority doesn't lie in these.

i just know that
I'M A CHRISTIAN FIRST BEFORE A STUDENT ;P

out

2008-09-16T21:41:00.007+08:00

first things first: HAPPY BIRTHDAYS, Cam, Athena and Tutti ;)

this day was a bit eventful due to the fact that i was able to distinguish some of my feelings thanks to estelle whom i vented most of my frustrations on. yes, i share a lot na =D still, more reasons to be less happy. basta.
ooh, masaya pala. naalala ni herbie bday ko. haha nag-advance siya kanina. wala lang. miss mtg tuloy. diane started it. she's been telling me stuffs bout mtg and her RED socks. haha. sorry, i just have to mention that :P

sabi ng isang kaibigan, hindi raw mapipigilan yung feelings. haha. pero nabbrainwash ko sarili ko. astig. as in maghahanap lang ako ng bad sides tapos manipulate ko sarili ko :/ ewan. haha :P :P :P

it took me 4 hours and 30 minutes to change my mind

2008-09-15T00:34:00.012+08:00

i can't believe that i even bothered to write earlier that i miss you.
=(( for those who care, i am seriously tearing right now. syempre, wala kang pakialam. tae naman.
gago. (i curse when the situation demands.)
(ctrl+a?)

happy=D

2008-09-14T23:55:00.006+08:00

last na hirit bago mag12am.
i just thought of a reason to be happyyyyyyy =D
after one week of hell having difficulty with writing, i finally got myself another pilot gtec 0.3 black refill. (don't have enough money to buy a new pen). i wanted to try the blue ink. camilla used blue nung first year. not sure if she still does. but they don't have blue refill in trinoma national bookstore. yes, i went there just to buy a pen. and bought a 120-buck note book for my study. haha i dint buy any food :P
i hate myself for misplacing my gtecs, or breaking them before finishing off the ink. for the past 4-5 pens, i haven't even used half of any. :(
sorry. i promise to take good care of my black ink refill in mg's blue gtec case =D mg, thank you for the donations.
those who owe me:
yung jollibee delivery person. i'm accusing you of taking my pen! i don't know how. but i lost it when we (sr dormers) were ordering from you :p basta i wrote 'MSK' with a correction pen on it! so i'd know if it's mine.
janjan. baka hindi mo naaalala. pero fresh na fresh sa utak ko. yung time na hiniram mo yung gtec ko. how can i forget? my quiz nun sa STR. tapos wala kang ballpen. sakin ka nanghiram. tapos may hiya pa ako sayo nun. kaya pinahiram ko yung extra gtec ko kasi hindi pa kita kilala tapos baka bugbugin mo ako pag hindi ako nagpahiram. naaalala ko pa yun. balik mo na!
may gtec na uli ako. kaya gaganahan na ako magnotes sa bio.
wala lang. i'm desperately looking for reasons to be happy. and failing. miserably.

masaya

2008-09-14T23:44:00.007+08:00

the things that you're too busy to hear, i'll write in this blog na lang. because you're not always available for talks. oh. yea. as if you talk to me. :( you have a life nga pala. i just like to pretend i'm part of it. operative word being pretend.
yung mga kwento ko dapat piles up. i wanted to relate my life to you. as in everything. and i hate myself for feeling that way. because nobody can relate with me kahit kelan. so, it always ends up na wala. wala palagi. wala na lang kunyari. wala naman talaga e. wala lang ako sayo.

blah blah. hindi ako nagtype niyan. 'tis my evil twin sister.

feel the sarcasm in the title? course not.

love letter

2008-09-14T23:34:00.007+08:00

bat wala akong magawa.. i'm bored. haha (but i still haven't finished the math homework). was staring in space when i caught sight of a half piece of bond paper pinned on my cork board. 'MSK...', it says. i remember when franco gave me that love letter. (i insist on calling it one:p). haha. first sentence pa lang, i was like "wth". anyway...

MSK,
Of all the girls in Strontium, you are the most likely to get into a committed relationship with a boy at an early age. (I'm not implying anything bad about you.)...
-Franco

i din't get it at first. (actually, until now). inaasar pa rin ako ni nico about this.
that's just the first sentence. secret na yung rest. love letter nga e =))

hw sa math: sine blah

2008-09-14T23:16:00.005+08:00

tae, wala ba akong buhay? i mean, social life and all. haha ewan. medyo... (medyo lang ha) envious ako sa people who can actually share their lives with their friends. haha. ewan. basta. ba't sila nadadaliang mag-open-up sa ibang tao? ewan. natatakot lang talaga ako. haha deepest fear ko yun.

...for someone to get too close to me..
:

miss you

2008-09-14T19:04:00.005+08:00

i'm such a bad friend... fine, hindi kami friends in the first place. former classmates, whatever. basta, am i to support his/her every word? i try to. pero mali na talaga yung iba e. ok, most of them. and i feel stupid when he/she talks to me. mali pala.. i meant, when i talk to him/her. i'm ignored nga pala. so yea. want to be friends. :/ miss ko na.

p.s. hindi ikaw to.

kunyari na lang masaya ako

2008-09-07T21:23:00.002+08:00

is too tamad to make kwento 'bout open house (tae, ang konyo)
:/

blah

2008-09-06T19:16:00.002+08:00

hated this day.
wala namang ginawa e.
hindi ako nagparticipate sa family day.
sa 'it's cramming time lang ako sumali'.
nga pala, sorry tj kung mabigat ako -__-
then card giving. ang baba ng grade.
tinapos yung bulletin.
yay. tapos na talaga siya.
pero wala pang nakapost. haha
basta. walang kwentang araw.
...
masaya ka na?

curious

2008-09-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

foundation convocation blah nung morning.
mass before, pero hindi ako umattend.
tapos dun kami sa dulo nakaupo.
boring grabe.
didn't listen to the speaker at all. sorry.
tapos sabay-sabay kaming pumunta sa stage
nung tinawag yung sa DL.
haha.
tapos awarding ng alumni na napakahaba rin.
basta nakakain pa kami.
kasi gutom na talaga ako.
nakakainis. meron pa akong P70 worth of chits.
hindi kasi ako bumili masyado.
nakakatamad. owel.
wasn't able to watch 'Talent for a Cause'.
continued with the acts bulletin board.
we're sure to finish tomorrow...
weird kanina...
...
oh and i started with my task.
yung hw ko for the BS.
haha kaya lang ang hirap :/
waah. uhh. yea.
=D

exchanged

2008-09-04T22:38:00.004+08:00

fourth day ng humanities.
mas lalo akong tinatamad.
nood lang ng speech contests kaninang umaga.
congrats, anton, for the third place=D
i din't do much after that.
hindi ko pa natutuloy yung bulletin.
i can't think of a template.
>.< lord ="D">

milestone

2008-09-03T19:14:00.001+08:00

third day ng linggo ng humanidades =D
haha sipag ko magblog. ahem.
grabe, late na ako nagising kanina.
haha buti na lang 8:30 pa yung film viewing eklat.
tapos, nanood kami ng "Basurero".
nainis ako. sa sarili ko. -__-
tapos may person kanina, na hindi man lang nagpay attention.
at all. kainis din.
after nun practice na kami ng dikum.
grabe, kanina lang tinapos yung choreo namin.
pero astig pa rin kasi nakathird place pa rin kami:D:D:D
go strontiuum ^___^
ganda ng lahat ng presentations
sa Be yung 'bout '...may ginto sa dulo ng bahaghari"
nakakatuwa yung cloths na choreography.
tapos rinig na rinig yung boses ni plata haha.
Cs nagfirst place.
astig kasi naka-uniform pa sila na parang sailors.
may solo si lean sa Li. tapos lahat sila parang bata.
masaya rin kanta nila.
ang cute nung ribbons nung Mg:D:D:D
tapos sa pota may weird na skit haha.
second Rb. ang ayos ng voice nila e.
hindi ko na napanood yung sa Na nang maayos.
nung dun lang sa gilid ng stage.
tapos meron pa silang face paint.
dapat daw may place sila e.
haha =D
i din't watch any of the presentations from the other years.
aww heard maganda raw yung mga sayaw interpretasyon.
sayang. haha.
tapos attend ng BS sa front lob gazebo.
one-on-one with ate jaja.
grabe, i shared.
and i have to conceptualize my life testimony
kasi naguguluhan ako magkwento.
i shared my Christian life.
i want to share pa to others^___^
"...little by little...He's changing me."
i don't wanna be a greedy person anymore.
and i have to live out my purpose na=D
buti na lang alam ko na kung ano.
sobrang saya pag maliwanag yung path.
grabe, spoon-fed na sakin kung ano dapat gawin ko.
kaya lang... medyo stupid pa rin.
kasi hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano.
haha i'm still learning.
basta, nakamark ang araw na 'to sa calendar ko.
turning point ng buhay ko.
ansaya. salamat Lord.

i wonder

2008-09-02T18:21:00.003+08:00

second day ng humanities!
grabe, walang kwenta naman yung forum nung umaga.
i mean, 'bout love? c'mon.
okay, so other people probably learned a lot from it.
i din't. was busy collecting money for family day.
and ingay ng mga katabi ko.
masyado silang interesado sa topic.
haha nagdedebate pa sina elkan, jan3x, at alfred.
basta katamad makinig.
anyway, classmates, bayad na kayo :p
tapos ang kadiri pa nina janjan.
dinuraan ko raw yung C2 niya, kahit hindi naman.
:p :p :p
tapos nood ng Bella.
katamad na ikwento. magsearch na lang kayo ng synopsis blah.
tae gutom na ako dun sa reading room.
is why me can't concetrated in movie no more =(
naiintindihan ko pa naman. but still.
nasa caf ata isip ko nun.
then i had to sit directly in front of the aircon.
just so i won't fall asleep.
tapos lunchtime nagpractice kami ng dikum.
ohmy, tomorrow na yun. hala.
go strontiuuuuum. kahit... basta.
tapos KKKwiz. si joe rep ng Sr.
so obviously... haha natalo nga.
lakas ng ulan ngayon. saya.
haha for some reason, masaya ako pag umuulan.
basta.
i'm being forced to blog.
aside from the fact that this is just some requirement...
wala na rin akong mapagkwentuhan ng stuffs.
basta. wala ng person na magtiya-tiyagang makinig
sa mga walang kwentang bagay sa buhay ko.
haha.
saya grabe.
anyway. ang boring ng humanities.
walang nangyayari sken.
:/

due

2008-09-01T19:56:00.002+08:00

first day ng humanities week.
grabe, they really had to make us stay sa gitna ng field.
habang yung iba nagpapakasarap sa ilalim ng shade ng grandstand.
was so hot, i was sure no one was listening to the speeches at all.
i had a feeling na magcocollapse ako anytime.
is why we took refuge sa dorm. haha
kaya nalate kaming tatlo nina peyt, and itchai sa games blah.
tapos ang stupid. kasi muntik na ata kaming maIR.
may kumuha nung IDs namin.
tapos mas stupid. kasi binigay din naman namin.
actually, i wanted to get an IR.
wala lang. for experience?
dunno.
didn't join any of the games 'cept for the...uhh
basta, the last game where everyone was required to join.
wala. i got pissed at the person who took my ID.
and i was still so sleepy. kasi, i just watched anime last night^_____^
haha
i still hate humanities week. since first year.
i just hate being idle.
because it forces me to mull over my present pedicament.
life's so complicated. i want to reduce it to something simple :/
but sometimes i feel i'm using the wrong measures.
kasi hindi na masaya minsan.
i just do things for the sake of escaping...
sorry na. sa hindi ko talaga kaya e.
haay. see? i'm thinking about it again.
me thinked about you all the day :(
anyway.
ha! muntik na akong hindi makapagtree planting!
i slept at the dorm. din't eat lunch kasi.
tapos when i woke up, and went outside,
si maam bawagan lang and cudia, nagplant nung tree.
pero tumulong pa rin ako.
tinali ko sa stick yung plant para may support siya in case.
haha ansaya. i planted a tree =)
onga pala, i started na with the ACTS Bulletin board <3>